Yesterday, Z lost some of his innocence. It breaks my heart to even go here. We try to protect our kids from "The Others" as I like to call people who don't raise their children with the same values and morals. But, it happens...they hear things, they see things. Thankfully, I was there. Thankfully, I heard it, too.
Yesterday was Field Day. Standing out in the hot sun, the kids got restless. A little girl standing by Z and 3 other boys started to talk. Not only did she talk, she showed them a hand gesture...THE hand gesture, the one that only uses one finger. Get where I am going with this?
Enter protective mommy on stage right.
First thing that alerted me to anything amiss, was the look on the boy's faces. It was a mixture of doubt, surprise, and dare I say it...joy. Something was going down. The next thing I notice was the middle finger on each boy's hand. Every single one of them had it in an unnatural position. Some had it up, some trying to stick it up, Z had it folded over his other fingers with the knuckle raised.
I had pretty well caught on to the conversation and moved closer to the girl. Z looked at me and showed me the gesture. He asked if it was a bad word.
If he only knew.
I calmly explained that it was an inappropriate gesture and the words associated with it were ugly words. I told Z we never use that gesture or those words because they mean bad things. I also told him that daddy and I would talk him later. Knowing that I was in over my head, I recruited help from Mrs. R. She handled it like the pro that she is. We walked away together, but Skip was still by the group. He came to us and said that this little girl was continuing her story and now added the word, "Mother". I think you know the rest.
So, here is our dilemma.
We did not discuss it further with Z last night, partly because we were at a loss and partly because he didn't bring it up. At some point, I feel we need to address it. Do we just get it out there and tell him what he is likely to hear and explain what it all means? Does that take the mystery and secrecy away? Do we address it only if he asks? What to do, what to do.
Obviously, I am praying that God will remove this from his memory. I am praying that God will restore what was taken from him yesterday. I am praying that God will give Skip and I the wisdom to handle this correctly. Other than that, any advice would be appreciated.
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5 comments:
Yikes! Unfortunately I'm not sure what to tell you. I think that you've handled it well so far.
Was that girl in kindergarten? She even added Mother to it? Wow.
I obviously have no advice because I haven't been through it, and hope not to for a long time! That really blows my mind, it's a good thing you were there to see it and explain to Z. You are a great role model for me!
I bet you didn't know I was reading your blog. Surprise! Anyway, I wanted to share with you that when I was in Kindergarten the same thing happened to me (minus the finger). I heard the word and came home from school and told my mom. I can distinctly remember my mom sitting me down on our obnoxious floral couch and explaining to me exactly what that word meant. I'm sure she was beside herself having to share the meaning of that word with a 5 year old. But, she told me the truth and promised me that she would always tell me the truth regarding anything I needed to know - even if it was uncomfortable. That act set the stage for my entire life. I always knew I could trust my mom to be completely truthful and I was never afraid to ask her anything. I've often thought back to why my mom and I had such a unique and wonderful relationship and I firmly believe that her willingness to be approperiately honest was the foundation that led to trust, respect and eventually friendship.
Pop Pop Pop...there goes our bubble. Do you feel like we are on an episode of LOST--the others are coming!
you will have the right words at the right time.
oh my! I was there too and thankfully Brandon was not in that circle at the time...how, I'm not sure. But to top that off, I subbed in another Kindergarten class on the opposite hallway, the very next day and one of the little girls came up to me and said..."so and so just flipped me off!" First of all he is too little to "flip" anyone off and second of all, I was astounded that she knew the phrase "flip me off" It just makes you wonder what goes on in those households. I pray that my boys get through the year without any more of these things. Coming from a private Christian school, I am just amazed at what these little kids know and do.
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