Home and the hormones.

Home is wonderful.

The hormones raging through my body leaving me a weepy mess, is not wonderful. There really is no way to describe how sad and happy I am all at the same time.

Sad because my baby is not inside of me anymore. Sad because my stomach no longer holds a mystery. Sad because his birth was eight days and a lifetime ago. Sad because he is our last. Sad because Skip is back at work. Sad because our special time in the hospital is over. Sad because I have done more laundry than humanly possible for such a small person.

Happy because I get to see our miracle every minute. Happy because our family is complete. Happy because Z and Loulabelle are so OVER THE TOP excited. Happy because our baby sleeps, so far anyway. Happy because Skip is such a great daddy and watching him makes me smile. Happy because friends and family love us dearly and they come with food in hand. Happy because I have feet again, not clubs. Happy because life is as is should be.

These evil hormones have rendered me stupid, so I am just going to leave you with a few pictures of why I should be happy all the time.

I turn my back for one second...

Who needs mommy milk when you can have COLDSTONE?

Disclaimer: No actual ice cream was consumed by the baby, but the mommy pigged out!

Beautiful, beautiful boy.

We are doing GREAT!!! Thank you all for your sweet words. I have been having fun reading them this afternoon.

Yesterday. IT ROCKED!! Here are just a few of our pictures.

Little Wingman is Here!

It is with great joy and honor that I, Alana, on behalf of Janelle and Skip, (they're just a little bit busy right now) announce to you the birth of their new little Wingman! We are very excited here in B-town at this new arrival. Check out the details below...


Everything went great with the delivery! He has lots of dark hair! Also, Z-man and Loulabelle have already seen him and wanted to know if they could keep him!

Congratulations Skip, Janelle, Z-man, and Loulabelle! We love you!

One.

Random.

It is almost midnight and I don't want to sleep. We leave in just under 5 hours for the hospital, but I am not tired. Scratch that. I am exhausted, but don't want to miss a minute of this baby's gymnastics. His arms and legs are flying. I wonder if somehow he knows that he will soon have freedom.

Tonight as we put the kids to bed, we grabbed their baby books. (Whole book for Z and partial book for Loulabelle...I WILL WORK ON IT. I PROMISE.)

Together, snuggled in our bed, we looked at pictures of their births and early days. We laughed. I cried. We told stories. We bonded. Just the four of us over those pictures and memories.

Then we held our babies in our arms until they were asleep.

I don't want to miss a minute of this sweet night.

One point Five.

Duh!!

We pre-registered at the hospital this morning. Went through all the paper work and blood draws. Got all the information regarding anesthesia, patient's bill of rights, etc. Needless to say, we walked away very informed, minus a pint or five of blood.

I forgot the one thing most urgent on my mind, so I called back to the hospital. Even now I am hearing the dreaded..."Hold, please. That is not my department." Heard that about 4 times until I finally talked to a lovely and very helpful lady in bed control.

"Bed control, you need something?"

"Yes, I pre-registered this morning and forgot to put in our request for a private room."

"Well, ma'am. This isn't a hotel."

Really?

Now I know there is an ever so slight possibility that she read this post on Day 7, but did she think I was really serious about this being a luxury spa vacation?

I guess I won't be expecting turn-down service with little mints on my pillow. Darn it!

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HUGE SHOUT TO MY NIECE, CELESTE!!!!! I LOVE WHAT SHE DID FOR MY BLOG! I FEEL ALL WARM AND GOOEY ON THE INSIDE!

Two.

To borrow the words from my good friend, Pam, I am a "freaker-outer." An over-worrier (I come from a long line of worriers.) When my kids are at grandparent's houses, I call umpteen times JUST TO MAKE SURE. When they are at my friends', I think up reasons to call.

I worry. I know this about myself.

But for some reason, today I am calm. Really, really calm. Some twisted part of me fears that I am too calm. Shouldn't I be worried? Shouldn't I be a wreck? I mean, two days is not a long time. What am I forgetting that I need to worry about?

I hope it God's peace protecting me right now because I can't explain it.

Tomorrow may be a different story, but I am thankful for the quiet of today.

Three.

Communion.

Today, in the candlelit church, he put his arms around his family.

Sheltering them from the world outside.

He prayed for each one by name, even the unborn one.

Thanking God for their lives.

Asking for protection and wisdom as he leads his growing family.

He gave thanks for his wife and professed his love for her.

He placed each person on the altar for the Lord and asked that His will be done.

His wife, beside him, cried joyful tears.

The man God gave her is a leader, a provider, a friend.

Safe in his arms, she silently prayed for a life together raising their kids and loving each other.

Her heart tender at the thought of growing old together.

She is longing for the right words to tell him how important he is to them.

Knowing that the coming days, weeks, will be hard on him.

He will make sacrifices that go unnoticed and without appreciation.

He will; because is a hero.

Her sincere hope is that he won't get lost in the shuffle.

With his arms protecting his family, she prays that he feels their love.

Four.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tension Breaker.

Had to be done.

Five.

Ponderings.

Today it is raining and dark which lends itself to reflection. I have spent most of today snuggling under the covers, listening to the rain and whatever movie Lou was watching at the time.

And my mind has been wandering.

For the past two years, Skip and I have had the great debate about whether to add a third child, or not. We were pretty divided into two different camps. One held tight to the "yes", and the other to the "no". Life moved on from day to day, but every so often this discussion would take place. Every time it was the same two votes. We would let it drop for weeks, months at a time before talking about it again.

But for me, it was always there. Always in the back of my mind. It felt like we were missing somebody. Somebody really special and important. We would be on vacation and I would be sad that we didn't have that person with us. We would have Family Movie Night and I would think about this child and wonder if it would ever exist.

This topic began to seep into more of our everyday life and decisions, When we would talk about our future, it was different. Our ten year goals looked different. We weren't acting like a team. We were divided. Skip and I both knew that without a neutral perspective and wisdom we would continue to grow more and more divided. We needed help.

In came our pastor. Our pastor is a man who believes in truth. He doesn't handle idle chit-chat very well. He wants you to get to the heart of the matter. He knows that is where God's power lies. So one night after putting kids to bed, he came over to listen. Listen to our hearts. Listen to our truth. He asked some questions, but basically he listened.

From that night came intense praying about our family's future. We both knew we couldn't stay divided for long. We had to decide, we had to come together. The decision was compromise.

We decided that we would let God decide what was best for our family.

Duh! Such a novel thought.

But it was hard to let go of control. We decided that we would "try" for 5 months. At the end of that time, we would either be pregnant or we would be closing that chapter in our lives. We were both at peace with this decision and ready to move forward in God's will.

Two months later as I stared at those 2 pink lines, I worried about Skip. I worried that he would be disappointed or mad at God for deciding in my favor. I worried for nothing. I saw pure joy when I looked into his eyes. He was genuinely happy about this baby. He has been with me through every appointment, every ache, every nauseating moment, every pound added to the scale. He has been there.

Just when I think I couldn't love this man more. I see him fathering our children. I see him coaching our teams. I see him loving our friends. I see him sweetly holding this baby in just 5 days.

His tender touch telling this baby that he is loved and very much wanted. My heart might just explode.

Six.

A Servant's Heart.

Remember in April when I published this TO DO LIST? Well, I am happy to report that it is all done.

Well, except for the Oreo part. I am a user. Can't help myself.

Also, the part about the king-sized bed. We figured this wasn't a good time for me to try out mattresses considering every part of my body aches and I can't find a good position to lay in.

Other than that, it is finished.

OK, OK. The part about Loulabelle's baby book. I just put that on there for kicks. I really wasn't going to attempt that...yet.

But still. My list is done.

Today was the last part of the LIST. My mom and I had a massive cooking day. It started at 7 with a trip to the newest Walmarts. (Jen, it was heavenly!) We just finished cooking and cleaning at 4:30. It was such a blessing to have a helper today. I loved cooking with my mom.

It is not unusual for her to do this for me. She has always been there. As long as I can remember. If I am sick, she has food ready or she takes the kids. When I complained that my feet were too swollen she booked me a pedicure with her wonderful gal. She would do anything for her family. She has a pure servant's heart.



Mom, thank you for always being there. Thank you for how much you give to my family. I am blessed to have you in my life. I hope one day to follow in your generous footsteps as I care for my grandkids and their families.

Now I am going to kick back, heave my water-retentive legs up in the recliner and breathe. It's almost time...

Seven

Have I told you all that Skip and I are going on vacation this summer? We leave in about a week for an all-inclusive resort just 30 minutes from our home. No, it's not the beach but every room does have a scenic view.

Accomodations are private with two adjustable beds. Every suite comes with a deluxe bathroom. The staff offers 24/7 care with just the touch of a button. This resort is equipped with an exceptional child care facility. Each child gets individual attention and lots of hugs. The professionally trained staff will even watch the children during the night so the adults can have some alone time. It is even rumored that they will bathe the children per request. How awesome is that?!

Meals are served 3xs per day. Visitors choose their own menus and they serve it via room service! Apparently, you can even have a local "spirited beverage" every 6 minutes if you desire.

All the fun we need is in one building. It sounds like heaven! We can't wait to go.

Eight.

What's in a name?

Raise your hand if you think Z-man and Loulabelle are the real names of my kiddos? These are fun names, but they are not the real ones.

Shocking. I know.

They happen to have, in my opinion, great names. But for the sake of the blog I keep them to myself.

Z-man was named after Skip's (not his real name either!!!) grandpa. It is a generational name that Z, Skip, his dad and his grandpa all share. This name is over 100 years old. When Skip and I were dating, he told me that his first boy would share the same name. It is a name of great importance to his entire family. It has been an honor to fulfill their desire. These are great men for Z to pattern his life after.

Loulabelle's name was more random. I fell in love with her name sometime in high school or college, not sure now. It was someone's last name, which is my favorite kind of name. Her middle name is mine, my dad's, and my great-grandfather's. We could not have picked a better name for her. She is fun and quirky and curly, just like her name. It fits.

The baby's name is very special to me. His first name is the ending of my maiden name. His middle name is my dad and brother's first name. My dad passed away when I was 20, after years of battling cancer. I was his little girl. I hope this name will honor him and his wonderful memory. He was the type of man that everyone adored. He was kind, and gentle, and hard working. The same traits that I pray over this baby. I think I will call him "Wing Man" on the blog.

One of the main reasons that I don't share the names here is to keep public opinion away. Since they are on the unusual side, we have received our fair share of negative comments.

When Loulabelle was just 1 month old a lady sent me into serious name regret. She walked up to me at the mall and gooed all over Lou. She told me how cute she was, yada yada. Then she asked me her name. Gushing with pride, I said the sweet word. The lady looked right at me and told me how weird that was, then walked away. I lived with Name Regret Syndrome for an entire month afterwards.

I have already had comments regarding this baby's name. Some love it, some hate it. It even took my family some time to adjust...and it's a family name!

The important thing is that we adore it. It is unique and meaningful. No one else has this name. It is actually a noun, but I am OK with that. We will say it with honor for the man he is named after was a good man.

(Whew. This is turning into a very long story.)

While Z-man was away at camp, we finished the baby's room. One of the first things he did was run in for a peek. He spent a few minutes looking around. When he came out, he was very quiet. Almost upset. Being sentimental, I thought he was just sad that his old room had changed and was no longer his. I asked him what was wrong.

"Do you not like the room?"

"No. I like the room. But why did you change the baby's name to WMM (pronounced whim)?"


"Oh, sweetie. Those are his initials."

"That's good. Cuz WMM (whim) is not a cool name!"

Everyone's a critic!

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Don't forget to visit my friend Pam and enter her fun GIVEAWAY!!!

Nine.

Nine days to go...

In the celebration of our new life, my friend Pam is hosting a GIVEAWAY!!!

Click over there and guess our baby's weight.

The prize will be good!!!

Ten.

That is the number of days that I will ever be pregnant again in my whole life.

That is the number of days that I will feel the secret of being kicked and tickled from the inside.

That is the number of days that I will feel my baby hiccuping inside me like he is now.

That is the number of days before our family grows to five.

That is the number of days that I have to emotionally and physically prepare for the birth of our last child.

That is the number of days until I can see the baby that God created for us.

That is the number of days I have to live with swollen, achy legs.

That is the number of days until our family's love will overflow.

Ten.

He's Baaaaack!

What a fast week! It seems like just yesterday we took Z to camp and now he is home. Oh, it did my heart good to see the little guy today. He was so stinkin' sweet when he saw us...wouldn't let us go!

This week has been a little boy's dream come true. When I saw this picture, I knew he was in heaven!



You can tell how much his counselors love and adore the kiddos. These were his two favorite ones, Scott and Evan. The words they said about him today were precious.

The best part about the week was the letter we received from him. It read,

"Thank you for sending me to camp. It is grate.

Sed me nex yer. And the nex yer. And the nex yer."

Well done, Z. You did it! You came out of your comfort zone, embraced new challenges and made new friends. You even let a CUBS fan (gasp!) take you under his wing! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!

Big Mistake. Huge.

Yesterday was day number one without Z. I had also dropped Loulabelle off at Camp Ma and Pa's for 3 days. Which wasn't hard because I know I can talk to her every 2 minutes if I want to. And I know her counselors!

So basically, I was home alone all day.

Home alone and pulling up the Camp website every 5 minutes to hoping to see a picture of Z smiling and having fun. I had worked myself into quite the frenzy.

Plus, I didn't feel good. Swollen, fat, yucky, self-conscious.

Plus, all I ate yesterday was cake and tuna. Which leads to some very ugly consequences.

It wasn't the makings of a good day. So what did I do to torture myself some more? I went downstairs into Z's room and laid down on his bed. The pillow that he left behind still had his little boy smell on it.

AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!!!

Ugh!

Hello, Mudder. Hello, Fadder.

Summer is officially here. This year we made the decision for Z-man to attend camp for the first time. It sounded great in December, but yesterday my heart was torn, stretched and tested beyond what I thought possible.

Yesterday did not start like every other day...the teasing, the bickering, the snacking, the crying. It started with sweet snuggle time, prolonged hug time, caring for sister time, doing chores on-time time. All of which is wonderful, but made it a little harder to think about not having him around for 7 days. If only every morning of summer would be this good.

We were to drop off at camp around 2:00 for the opening ceremonies hoop-la. All of us were anxious, yet joyful and happy. I could tell Z was very excited about this week, yet he still had some anxiety regarding the time away from home. For the most part, his excitement was greater than the anxiety.

My biggest prayer yesterday was that the Lord would surprise us. And surprise us He did. The very first person we saw was a Kindergarten teacher that I taught with. Her job in the summer is to drive a bus for camp. It was so thrilling to see her and have her greet Z with a huge smile and lots of encouragement. What a blessing to me.

Every person that we encountered was genuinely happy to see the Z-man. They made over each camper with cheerful clapping and lots of hollering. The first thing he did was slide down a long fire pole into the arms of his counselors. Then they rushed him off for a snow cone. After that, it was time for us to introduce ourselves to his counselors, get Z unpacked, make his bed and leave.

GULP.

Walking down the path to his cabin, I prayed again for the Lord to surprise us. Again, He was faithful. We walked into his room and saw 3 familiar faces. There are 4 boys in his cabin that he knows from school. We thought he would only have 1 boy. Thank you, Jesus!

His counselors were the perfect blend of excitement, spunk, energy and, most importantly for Z, restraint. They handled him exactly the right way, not too much, not too little. Immediately, I felt comfortable with these young college men. One of them asked me if I had any questions regarding this week.

Me? Questions?? Nah, I'm good.

What!?! Of course I had questions! Except, for the life of me I couldn't think of any. The only thing I asked of him was NOT TO TAKE HIS EYES OFF MY CHILD. DO YOU HEAR ME? NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND!!! Please.

I have to give kudos to the training that these young people must endure. They must have a special class in mom-handling. He looked me straight in the eyes and went through his entire training process. He talked about everything from his CPR certification, to life jackets, to how much sunscreen they would use on Z. He actually said,

"Here at camp we are all about safety. Safety first, then Jesus." That boy just won me over!!

Time for goodbyes. This is the moment I have been dreading since we signed him up many months ago. I was fearful of leaving him in tears and having the counselors pull him away from us. But when you pray for the Lord to surprise you, HE WILL!! Our goodbyes were tear-free and joyful. We left knowing that Z was happy. He said he wanted to stay for 12 weeks instead of just 1. THAT IS HUGE FOR HIM!!! I am so proud of his bravery. He has really changed and grown this past year.

Except now he can stop growing, cause my heart can't take it!