On eating elephants.

Zeb's 4th grade teacher is a master at motivating her students. She relates to them in such an honest, pure, and humorous way. She has a gift for teaching squirmy (and sometimes smelly) 4th graders. Watching her in action is like being in the presence of greatness.  Truly.

In April, they took the state-mandated achievement tests. For two weeks students labored over the MAP standardized test and it was quite overwhelming. Mrs. P. told her kids to look at the test in terms of eating an elephant.

You don't sit down at your table and gooble up an entire elephant in one sitting. You have to plan it. You have to take it slowly. You have to take the elephant in small sections or you will get completely overwhelmed.

She would say this to them and they would giggle. Eating an elephant is quite the word picture.  But it was something that stuck with these 10-year-olds.  They learned to slow down and take the test one chunk at a time.

One day at a time.

Until it was over.

That is how I feel now after ALL THE STUFF that has happened in my family these past few weeks.  The recovery period for my brother, my father-in-law, and my mom seems like a pretty big elephant sitting there on my kitchen table.  There is a lot of work to do before they are all healthy.  When I look at the BIG PICTURE I get scared and overwhelmed.  Like if I was told to eat a whole elephant in one sitting.  When/IF I remember Mrs. P's advice and start breaking it down,  it seems much more manageable.

One day at a time.

For the most part, everyone is doing really well.  My brother is regaining strength and mobility everyday.  He is learning how to eat better and eliminate stress factors.  His blood pressure is now down in the healthy range that it should have been all these years.  The progress he is making is nothing short of a miracle.  God has given him a second chance at life.  I am so proud of him.  He will beat this!

My father-in-law, Ralph 2, is also gaining strength.  He stubbornly tried to work yesterday and the heat literally wiped him out.  He needs to take some time for rest and recuperation.  I think he (mistakenly) feels like he is invincible.  I do hope that he can be healthy for many many more years.  I would love to see him permanantly retire and go on his dream vacation to Australia. 

My mom is one-handed and will be for the next 6-8 weeks.  But the good news (for now) is that the doctor feels like she doesn't need surgery to heal.  She will go back in a week for more x-rays, but (for now) the doctor is satisfied with her progress.  I know she is frustrated.  It is really hard on her to be "handicapped" in any way.  She is a worker and has a huge responsibility taking care of my brother.  But she is determined to make the best of it. 

It's so easy for me to look at the BIG PICTURE (or the giant elephant) and get completely overwhelmed.  Nothing good comes from me freaking out.  I promise you that. 

So I remember to breathe. 

In and out. 

Make a plan.

Bite off small chunks.

And pretty soon the elephant will be gone.

One day at a time.

**If you clicked here looking for an elephant recipe, I am sorry.  No elephants are actually being eaten.  Not by me and not by any 4th graders that I know.  I heart metaphors.

Finding myself at a loss for words.

I have been meaning to post for the last two weeks but haven't known where to begin.  Two weeks ago our lives changed in ways we never expected.  A season of hardship ushered in blowing drought-like winds over our tired bodies.

Just two short weeks ago we were...

• celebrating the end of diapers FOREVER
• making our summer bucket list
• going on play dates
• having sleepovers
• celebrating my step-dad's tournament victory on our hometown lake
• making 4th of July potluck plans
• planning a trip to St. Louis with some of our best friends

Life changes in the blink of an eye.

Two weeks ago my brother had a stroke and Skip's dad had a heart attack.  Both within two days of each other.  Both in two different hospitals in our area.  Both serious.

As if that wasn't enough.  My family also had 3 rounds of stomach flu and 1 throat virus with high fevers to manage.  Add in other heavy and very sad life issues surrounding us.  Our small corner of the world was hit hard.

We adapted.

Our schedules, our kids, our plans, our calendar, our desires all adapted to fit the needs of this crisis.  Skip and I passed each other coming and going from one hospital to another.  Our kids went from friend to friend to friend.  I struggle with asking for help.  Meaning that it must be a weakness of some sort to admit that you are struggling and need your friends.  It's not.  My friends busted down the wall I was building and love poured through the cracks.  Every text, every call, every meal, every offer for kids was perfectly timed in my weakest moments. 

God knew what I needed and when.  And He made my friends even more amazing.

Both men are home from their respective hospitals and are slowly getting nursed back to health.  Both will take some time before they are back to normal.  Life slowly is starting to fall back into place.  Our vacation plans to St. Louis were cancelled.  But we adapted, once again and had a staycation (post coming) with our friends.  Smiles have started to replace worry lines.

Then yesterday.

My mom, who is nursing my brother back to health, fell and broke her wrist in two places.  Two very bad breaks.  She finds out tomorrow whether those breaks will require surgery to heal.  (Oh, please Lord, no)

My heart can't take any more hurt.

I am finding myself at a loss for words.

My God understands.

He can read between the silent broken pieces of my heart.

My job.  Keep laying down my fears, my worries, my anger, my doubts, my weariness, my will.

At His feet.

At the cross.

Wait for joy.

And rest.

I vow to never eat another Whopper again.

OK.

So.

I never intended to take a bloggy break these last two weeks. But things happen. And for the past two weeks EVERYTHING in life has been happening at school.  These end of school days are a hazy mixture of field trips, field days, assemblies, parties, special lunches, volunteer recognition, you name it.  It all happens in May. I think they pack it so tight that there is nothing but SWEET RELIEF when it's over.

Until they are home for three days and the constant fighting makes you drive to back school just to see if anyone is there to take them from you.

Or, is that just me?

My kids have a total of 3 hours left of 4th grade and 1st grade. 

*bittersweet*

Anyway, that is NOT what this post is about.  This post is about HOW NOT TO BE A LOSER like me.

Yesterday after school my kids came home like they always do. STARVED. TO. DEATH.  And because I'm awesome, I turned on the oven to preheat some chicken nuggets.  It's a good thing I was standing there because about one minute later the oven window lit up like a Christmas tree.

Hmm?

That's odd.

I took a peek inside to find shooting sparks and flames.  The heating coil had caught on fire.  I turned off the oven but the flames didn't go away.  They got worse.

Commence panic and the wild throwing of baking soda.

The flames STILL did not stop.

So I doused it with water.  And when that didn't work I started throwing corn starch.  Cause I'm smart like that.

(add three screaming kids and you've got yourself a par-ty)

Finally.  Finally it stopped flaming and the fire died down.  When I looked closely at the damage I found that the heating coil had melted and broken apart.  I could be wrong, but I didn't think a HEATING COIL could melt apart??  I mean, isn't that it's job to get really really really hot and NOT melt? 

Anyway, it did.

Once it cooled down I started to clean the mess.  YUCK.  It was so bad.  The drawer under the oven got the brunt of all the nasty goo.  As I was cleaning that out I had a major revelation.

Did you know that drawer can come off so you can clean the floor underneath your oven?

Who knew!?!?

Well, probably all of you.  Or at least the ones who passed 7th grade Home Ec.  If I had passed, I totally would have known that.  But since the teacher was a bigfatmeaniehead who hated me and thought it would be fun to torment me.  I didn't learn it.

Oh well.

But what I did learn is that people are disgusting.  I swept up all the hair and dust and groddy stuff that has been living under my oven for the past 10 years.

GRRRRROOOOSSSS!

I vow to never eat another Whopper candy again.

I also vow to keep my oven clean.  Which should be the true moral of this story.

And I plan on learning that lesson real well as I sit in a restaurant tonight.

*glee*

May means...

school countdown.

a million field trips.

uniforms hanging to dry.

unmade beds.

cereal nights.

packed school schedules.

art shows.

baseball equipment everywhere.

dirty dishes.

quick hair.

messy playrooms.

May means life.

Facing the Giants.

This weekend we played in a very COLD baseball tournament.  There were four teams in our division all with pretty good records.  The teams we face in tournaments are so different from our team.  The other teams are ALL-STAR teams with hand selected players from different towns.  Our team is a group of boys that have played together for many years and will hopefully feed into the High School program in a few years.

The major difference is that the other teams are always packed with HUGE boys.  Boy-men, really.  We faced some 10 year old boys this weekend that were the same size as a small man.  The main thing that comes with size is the ability to hit to the fence. 

Hit after hit after hit.

Our boys held on tight in the first game.  I hate to say we lost because of two bad umpire decisions.  But yeah.  We lost that game due to two bad calls.  This game was a nail-biter.  The score went back and forth the whole time.  The Pirate boys played a great game and they should all be proud of their efforts.

We went on to lose the next three games.  Although we were all disappointed in the outcome, there are so many lessons in losing.

You never quit.

You never give up.

You never stop hustling.

You never stop giving everything you have.

You always stand with your team.

You stick together through the good and bad.

You cheer each other's victories.

You stay true to who you are.

You shake hands and congratulate the winners.

You leave everything on that field.

You stand united.

Isn't that just like life?  You have victories and losses.  You succeed and fail.

BUT YOU NEVER STOP.

Our boys picked themselves back up in the semi-final game and played their hearts out.  They didn't give up.  They faced their GIANT and made us proud.  They walked off that field heartbroken, but strong and united.  They proved to each other that they all deserve to be there.  They all had success in that last game.  They all dug deep and committed to see it through to the end.

I don't know about you, but that's how I want to live my life.

Every single moment.

Giving everything I have.

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks...

WOW! 

This week was a complete blur! The first week of the baseball/softball season and it was busy for the coach and his support team (me).

Tuesday night, Zeb had his first game. This is his second year to play in the competitive division of his age group.  He (usually) plays second base and pitcher.  He lives for baseball, just like his daddy.  He wears Skip's high school and college number...16. 

The season opener was a success!  The Pirates won 10-3.

Thursday night, Langley had her first softball game. This is her first season of coach pitch. Sadly, the game got rained out in the bottom of the first inning.

(By the way, I have a crush on the man in pink.)

Saturday, we hit the road for a two-day baseball tournament. It should be a fun weekend!

I will be back on Monday for some riveting content.

Or, maybe not.

My brains might be fried from sunshine, high fructose corn syrup, and baseball.

Because sometimes I whine about stupid things.

On Tuesday, Langley's class went on a field trip to our local college. They toured the jelly kitchen, the mill, the museum, the Star School, and the dairy.

It was during the dairy part of the trip that I whipped out my phone to take pictures of the cutey dairy cows in an effort to woo this amazing blog friend to pack up her family and move to B-Town. Her husband is a veterinarian who works with dairy cows and I wanted to prove to her that we have us some COWS.  As I was texting her pictures I had the fleeting thought that maybe I depend too much on my phone. 

Addicted??

Nah.  That's crazy talk.

Two hours later my phone broke.

Lord?  Is that you? 

I have now been without a phone for two days and feel like I want to whine mightily about it.  I was all set to do that until I drove around town yesterday.

Nothing like a trip just mere miles away from my comfortable home to realize that THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WORSE OFF.

Our small town is flooded in many parts.  People have lost their homes and businesses with more water coming our way.  The surrounding lakes and streams are full.  The dam is releasing more water than ever recorded in history.

I had my camera with me. Even though they aren't great pictures, they show the devastation our area is experiencing. 

This dock was half a mile from my neighborhood.

Half a mile from my comfortable life.

A park in my grandma's neighborhood.

It's amazing to see in person.

Water takes over everything.

There was flooding in my grannie's neighborhood.  Thankfully, her house was spared.

View of the kamp my kids go to in the summer.  Lower fields completely under water.

Zipline course at the summer kamp.

Goose wandering the streets looking for food.



Someone's backyard.  Their front was worse.  House completely under water.  Only in the Ozarks would there be a broken down house boat in someone's flooded backyard.  We might be rednecks.



Back yards and front all taken over.  This is where the police asked gawkers like me to move on.

A look at the swollen lake.

The force of the water coming off the dam got us completely soaked about a mile away.  Nothing compares to the power and majesty of water.  Devasting and beautiful.

Looking at these pictures makes me sad.  It makes me realize that NOTHING IS FOREVER.

Not our phones.

Not our homes.

Not our cushy lives.

The ONLY thing that is forever is Jesus!  Our rock.  Our fortress.  Our safety in times of struggle.  With HIM, nothing can hurt us.

Not even the floodwater.

I am humbled.

Having feet has finally paid off.

Last night was the FOURTH annual spring Flip Flop Exchange hosted by a very sweet friend. It is the best girl party ever. The food is excellent, the women are lovely and everyone is happy to leave with a brand new pair of fabulous flip flops.

If you have a group of friends or co-workers, this is the next party you need to host!  Read here for a detailed description on how to organize a party of this magnitude.  It is so worth your time! 

I pinky swear.

These are the beautiful girls that were there last night.  This party keeps growing every year. 

Only two pairs of flip flops were repeated last night.  That means there were a whole lot of shoes that were one of a kind.  These aren't your ordinary OLD NAVY flip flops (which I happen to love) these shoes were gorgeous and designer.  Every single pair received OOOHHHs and AAAHHHHs and clapping.

Oh, the clapping.

It was a very affirming night.

Look at my pretty pair that my secret shopper bought me.  I heart them.  They are cute, neutral and so comfortable.  All the things I love. 

For me, last night represented more than just a fun gift exchange.  It represented that the FOG has lifted.  Last year was such a killer year for me that I just dropped my flip flops off the day of the party and didn't even bother to show up.  I just couldn't do it. 

I couldn't pretend to be ON and FUN and HAPPY, oh my.

I stayed in hiding for the better part of last year.  I didn't even have a birthday party.  It was a dark time.

But the LIGHT is on now.  The fog has lifted.  I am different because of the fog, more mature.  The me before would have been all over that room last night and I would have been secretly miserable.  Last night, I sat in the same chair and had a great conversation with three ladies.  A deep and meaningful conversation in the midst of a HUGE social event. 

The old me would have never sat in one place. 

I kind of like the new me.

In the middle of all the noise and celebrating one woman shared a private piece of her heart with me. 

Intimate.

Honest. 

Real life. 

Not fluffy.

So, while I am happy about my new cutie shoes, I am even happier that I have come out from under the suffocating darkness.

Life is real and complicated and hard and messy.  But last night reminded me that it's also good.

Very, very good.

So, off you go to plan your own FLIP FLOP EXCHANGE and get ready to celebrate your feet and your friends.

It's flippin' awesome.

My leg is the third one from the left.    

Really??

No.

But you are so sweet to look.

Reality in my circus.

My sweet cousin is visiting B-town for a couple of weeks with her one year old baby. He is so sweet and squishy it's making me miss my babies. I have spent a lot of time talking with my cousin about motherhood, especially first-time motherhood.

Oh, what I know now that I didn't now then.

It's amazing how things change with time and the number of kids you have. It's a combination of "been there done that" , maturity, and just plain exhaustion but every mommy I know has evolved as the years go by.

When Zeb was my only baby, I would spend my whole day watching him, delighting in him.  I would lay on the couch with him napping on my chest.  We would spend hours in this position.  My world revolved around his needs and his schedule.

He was never dirty. 
He was never hungry.
He bathed every day.
He never missed a nap.
He never wore any diaper other than Pampers.
He never watched TV.
He never went very long without a parent's full attention.
He was read to every day.

Fast forward to baby number two.  Our beautiful princess, Langley.  I adore having a daughter.  As a middle child she has learned to take her lumps.

She was sometimes dirty.
She sometimes had to wait for food.
She sometimes bathed regularly.
She sometimes had to miss a nap, or nap in the car.
She sometimes wore Pampers, but mostly Luvs.
She watched whatever big brother watched on TV.
She sometimes had to wait for mommy or daddy.
She would sometimes get read to daily, sometimes not.

Fast forward even more to baby number three.  Our wild man, Wit, or Bob.  Whatever.  Everyone needs a Wit, or two, in their lives.

He is always dirty or sticky.
He always has to wait for food, or he gets it himself.
I don't remember the last bath he had.
He misses more naps than he takes, life on the go.
He only wears generic diapers.
He would watch TV all day long if I let him (and some days that's just easier).
He has learned that he can get attention by being naughty and mischievous.
Reading time?  Um, not unless Zeb or Langley do it with him (which is only when I remember to make them)

As I have been talking with my cousin it makes me realize that I don't want to go back in time.  I would miss my crazy reality too much.

Life in my circus is pretty fun.

How has your parenting evolved?

This thing called the Internet.

During my final semester in college a new class became mandatory for all education majors. 

Internet 101.

At that time, I had already completed all the hours I needed before my student teaching semester and I had to add in this silly class.  All of us did.  We were very unhappy about it.  I remember sitting in front of the computer while the professor walked us through setting up an email account and logging on to AOL. 

Bet you five bucks you can still hear the dial-up screech in your head.

Anyway, I remember thinking..."Yeah, right.  When will I ever use this thing?  It's just a fad."

Just a fad, people.

I was 23, married, in my last semester of college before the "REAL" world started so clearly I was qualified to declare the Internet a fad.

Clearly.  I mean.  Who needs the Internet with hair like that?

I would have never dreamed how much this world would rely on the Internet for our daily life.  Everything has changed.  Information is a click, or touch away.  Anything you could ever think to ask is available as quick as your fingers can type the question. 

I even love how our language has changed.  Back before the Internet craze, if you would have used these words in your vocabulary people would have thought you were mental and needed medication.

Google it
Text me
I like you on facebook
I saw this tweet the other day
Do you stumble?
LOL
Let's skype
Just click here to get your widget
Bing
What's your favorite app?
Are your cookies enabled?
I'm an Angry Bird addict.

For me, this "fad" has become one of the most important daily sources of encouragement and support.  One of my favorite things to read on the Internet is blogs.  My google reader list keeps growing with amazing blogs and amazing writers.  I have met some of the neatest, kindest women on the pages of their blogs.  Reading and connecting with other friends on this journey called life is something that I am very thankful for.  I admire reading about people's struggles and their victories.  I love when their truth comes to the surface and leaves me feeling validated about my own truth.  This may sound crazy, but I truly believe that some of the connections I have made through this blog are God's gift to me. 

Some of my greatest friends live in the computer.  And when I have my phone with me, my greatest friends live in my back pocket.  I take you with me wherever I go.

How cool is that?

I certainly never imagined that back in 1997. But back then I was just trying to make my hair as tall as it could be.  So I didn't have much room for all this knowledge.

I thought I would share with you some things that I am reading today.  If you are new to these blogs, stop in and say "HI!"

I promise they won't bite.

1.  I wish this lady was a real friend of mine.  Her daily devotionals are RIGHT ON and so relevant to my life.  This is her latest about eating junk.  I have been changing some things lately and this hit me between the eyes. 

2.  You have to go meet Denise.  She is pure sweetness with an extra layer of cute.  You must enter her awesome giveaway.  On second thought, don't because I want to win. 

OK, fine.  Enter and I hope you win.  Doesn't the Bible say to be happy for those who win the giveaway you wanted to win?  I will google it.

3.  Speaking of changing eating habits, this is a MUST READ.  Julianne is a real friend/family member of mine.  I love her to pieces.  This journey that she writes about is every woman's struggle.  Her writing is funny and honest and real.  Her blog has been neglected for some time but I hope she will keep it going.  Why don't you tell her that, too.  Maybe we can nag her into a comeback.

I have been told that I am real good at nagging.

4.  This post about eating meals as a family really slapped me upside the head.  Life is moving way too fast and our schedule is too tight.  I am trying my hardest to hang on to eating dinner as a family.  We have had to adapt due to our busyness.  I hate the nights that we don't have together.  I don't want life to pass this little family by.

5. I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't link up to my bff, PW.  I will be making this cake in the near future.  My grandma raised us all on her GO BIG RED cake (pure Nebraska Cornhusker fan) and I have never attempted to make it because of the layers.  But this looks like something anyone can master.  I would probably need more frosting on the top though.  No offense, PW.  I hope we can still be bffs.

6.  Slow down today and read this.  Take a deep breath and soak up the beauty around you today.  Make sure you add this blog to your feeder.  Everything she writes is WONDERFUL.  Some days she is funny, some days insightful and some days a recipe.  Every day is just right with MarytheKay.  Now go give her a GREAT BIG HUG from me!

There are so many more people in this computer that I love.  I hope someday to meet them in real life!  I have a possible trip that I am praying about in November to meet this dear friend.

*Crossing my fingers*

Feel free to leave any links to your favorite reads in the comment section. 

I big red puffy heart the Internet!