Twenty years this summer.

It's been twenty years since I've worn braces.

How do I remember such a weird milestone? Because I graduated high school wearing those same braces.  My parents wouldn't let me get them taken off before my senior pictures like the lucky girl's parents did.

I was so jealous that the lucky girl got hers taken off just in time for pictures and I still had a year to go.

I'm still bitter about it.

(But I looked like that back then and could have used all the help I could get.)

(I probably should have invested more time in worrying about my hair and less about my braces.)

(Clear braces turn yellow.  Did anyone know that?  Well, they do.  Bright yellow.)

(If only I had a time machine.)

It's so funny what you remember about a time period in which you would love to forget. 

I remember being intimidated by the popular crowd and the "jocks".

I remember thinking that one critical mistake would be the legacy by which people would define me.

I remember agonizing over a pimple (and those darn braces) thinking my life was ruined forever.

I remember wearing Skip's letterman's jacket and feeling like I didn't deserve it.

I remember teachers that liked me and teachers that didn't.

I remember being more concerned about my after school activities than my school work.

I remember the smell of the halls and the sound of Mrs. L's clickety tall boots.

I remember feeling inspired by a science teacher and humiliated by a math one.

I remember wishing I had better clothes and better hair and better shoes.

*somethingsneverchange*


I remember carrying around my insecurities like a giant backpack.

I remember sitting on those bleachers waiting for them to call my name so my grown up life could begin.

A twenty year reunion seems ridiculous when you are 18.  The world is ahead of you and you are invincible.  Anything is possible.  Everything is attainable.   The gap between what you know and what you THINK you know is huge.

Eighteen is a cocky age.

Thirty eight, not so much.  You (hopefully) have ripened and softened and been seasoned by life.  You (hopefully) have become the person you wish you could have been in high school.  Confident, wise, stable, proven.

Improved.

Twenty years is the perfect amount of time for a reunion.  Not that I wasn't a nervous wreck when the planning committee started to send out facebook plans.  I was a MESS trying to get ready for the reunion.  I struggled with my weight and my clothes and my hair just like I did 20 years ago.

But I knew something that I didn't back then.

I knew I was SAFE.  No matter what I blurted out of my mouth, or if my shoes weren't exactly right, or even if I woke up with a zit the size of Texas. 

I was safe.  I knew that life would go on even if these people didn't like me anymore.  It wouldn't change my life to be rejected or snubbed.  My high school self was going to be OK no matter what!

And I am so glad that I realized that.  It was such a fun weekend.  It was great to see old friends and find out where life has taken them since high school.  Everyone was so sweet and genuinely interested in one another.  Such a relief to know that none of that high school stuff mattered anymore.

Here's to the next 20 years.

May we all continue to improve!


And about those braces, SOOOOO thankful!  Even if my 18 year-old self was mentally scarred.  She'll get over it.

This is me pushing through the writer's block.

I really can't believe it has been so long since I wrote a blog post. I have wanted to write.  I have had plenty of stuff to say.  But it just hasn't happened naturally.

I'm officially blocked.

Sure, I could blame the fact that I don't have access to a computer during the day.  But that's not entirely true.  I do have access, but it's all the way downstairs.  And it's slow.  And I can't upload pictures from that desktop.

(And yet, I still make time for pinterest.  Amen?)

Oh, woe is me.

When I last wrote, it was a pretty hard time for our family.  I stopped so suddenly that I hope no one was worried that something worse had happened.  It didn't.  My brother and father-in-law are both doing great!  Time has just gotten the better of me.  It's been a blur.

Summer came and went...

Baseball season came and went...

Potty training my last baby came and went...

My 20th HS reunion came and went...

Swimsuit season came and went...

Lazy, carefree days came and went...

The start of school came and went...

And this blog sat quiet for all of it.  I haven't shared pictures or stories or pity parties with you in a very long time.

So here is where I get frozen.  Do I pretend that 4 months haven't past and just tell the stories like they just happened?  Or do I just move forward?  Or do I try to do both?

This is me.  Frozen with indecision.

*deep breath*

I guess the only thing to do now is MOVE FORWARD.

Move forward with our life.  Our stories.  My (ahem...alleged) pity parties.

Move forward with our relationship.

Moving forward, with a special look back on some of the summer fun.  Like that 20th reunion I mentioned.  And the start of school.

Moving forward, unfrozen.  Unblocked.

I like that decision.

Snot and Kisses back in business.



 

On eating elephants.

Zeb's 4th grade teacher is a master at motivating her students. She relates to them in such an honest, pure, and humorous way. She has a gift for teaching squirmy (and sometimes smelly) 4th graders. Watching her in action is like being in the presence of greatness.  Truly.

In April, they took the state-mandated achievement tests. For two weeks students labored over the MAP standardized test and it was quite overwhelming. Mrs. P. told her kids to look at the test in terms of eating an elephant.

You don't sit down at your table and gooble up an entire elephant in one sitting. You have to plan it. You have to take it slowly. You have to take the elephant in small sections or you will get completely overwhelmed.

She would say this to them and they would giggle. Eating an elephant is quite the word picture.  But it was something that stuck with these 10-year-olds.  They learned to slow down and take the test one chunk at a time.

One day at a time.

Until it was over.

That is how I feel now after ALL THE STUFF that has happened in my family these past few weeks.  The recovery period for my brother, my father-in-law, and my mom seems like a pretty big elephant sitting there on my kitchen table.  There is a lot of work to do before they are all healthy.  When I look at the BIG PICTURE I get scared and overwhelmed.  Like if I was told to eat a whole elephant in one sitting.  When/IF I remember Mrs. P's advice and start breaking it down,  it seems much more manageable.

One day at a time.

For the most part, everyone is doing really well.  My brother is regaining strength and mobility everyday.  He is learning how to eat better and eliminate stress factors.  His blood pressure is now down in the healthy range that it should have been all these years.  The progress he is making is nothing short of a miracle.  God has given him a second chance at life.  I am so proud of him.  He will beat this!

My father-in-law, Ralph 2, is also gaining strength.  He stubbornly tried to work yesterday and the heat literally wiped him out.  He needs to take some time for rest and recuperation.  I think he (mistakenly) feels like he is invincible.  I do hope that he can be healthy for many many more years.  I would love to see him permanantly retire and go on his dream vacation to Australia. 

My mom is one-handed and will be for the next 6-8 weeks.  But the good news (for now) is that the doctor feels like she doesn't need surgery to heal.  She will go back in a week for more x-rays, but (for now) the doctor is satisfied with her progress.  I know she is frustrated.  It is really hard on her to be "handicapped" in any way.  She is a worker and has a huge responsibility taking care of my brother.  But she is determined to make the best of it. 

It's so easy for me to look at the BIG PICTURE (or the giant elephant) and get completely overwhelmed.  Nothing good comes from me freaking out.  I promise you that. 

So I remember to breathe. 

In and out. 

Make a plan.

Bite off small chunks.

And pretty soon the elephant will be gone.

One day at a time.

**If you clicked here looking for an elephant recipe, I am sorry.  No elephants are actually being eaten.  Not by me and not by any 4th graders that I know.  I heart metaphors.

Finding myself at a loss for words.

I have been meaning to post for the last two weeks but haven't known where to begin.  Two weeks ago our lives changed in ways we never expected.  A season of hardship ushered in blowing drought-like winds over our tired bodies.

Just two short weeks ago we were...

• celebrating the end of diapers FOREVER
• making our summer bucket list
• going on play dates
• having sleepovers
• celebrating my step-dad's tournament victory on our hometown lake
• making 4th of July potluck plans
• planning a trip to St. Louis with some of our best friends

Life changes in the blink of an eye.

Two weeks ago my brother had a stroke and Skip's dad had a heart attack.  Both within two days of each other.  Both in two different hospitals in our area.  Both serious.

As if that wasn't enough.  My family also had 3 rounds of stomach flu and 1 throat virus with high fevers to manage.  Add in other heavy and very sad life issues surrounding us.  Our small corner of the world was hit hard.

We adapted.

Our schedules, our kids, our plans, our calendar, our desires all adapted to fit the needs of this crisis.  Skip and I passed each other coming and going from one hospital to another.  Our kids went from friend to friend to friend.  I struggle with asking for help.  Meaning that it must be a weakness of some sort to admit that you are struggling and need your friends.  It's not.  My friends busted down the wall I was building and love poured through the cracks.  Every text, every call, every meal, every offer for kids was perfectly timed in my weakest moments. 

God knew what I needed and when.  And He made my friends even more amazing.

Both men are home from their respective hospitals and are slowly getting nursed back to health.  Both will take some time before they are back to normal.  Life slowly is starting to fall back into place.  Our vacation plans to St. Louis were cancelled.  But we adapted, once again and had a staycation (post coming) with our friends.  Smiles have started to replace worry lines.

Then yesterday.

My mom, who is nursing my brother back to health, fell and broke her wrist in two places.  Two very bad breaks.  She finds out tomorrow whether those breaks will require surgery to heal.  (Oh, please Lord, no)

My heart can't take any more hurt.

I am finding myself at a loss for words.

My God understands.

He can read between the silent broken pieces of my heart.

My job.  Keep laying down my fears, my worries, my anger, my doubts, my weariness, my will.

At His feet.

At the cross.

Wait for joy.

And rest.

The Bucket List.

So, I am about to plagiarize in a big BAD way. Three of my favorite bloggers (and women) Kristen, Denise and Sara posted their summer fun lists.

Not only am I stealing their idea but I am also stealing the quote that Denise used in her post about being proactive.

"if i'm not proactive

i'm reactive

and that can be very unattractive."

(I just copied and pasted that little pearl right off Denise's blog)

(The days of me being worried about the punishment of plagiarism are behind me)

(Thank the LORD)

I admire these mommies so much and think The Bucket List  is something my family desperately needs this summer.  Because here is the truth.  I am struggling.  In a bad way.  The best way to communicate this is in numerical order. 

The heat has fried my paragraph writing skills.

1.  I haven't found "the groove" yet.  Our nights are late, our mornings are late.  The whole time that I am awake, so are the kids.  We haven't settled into a livable routine yet.  This is hard.  I need time alone each day to rejuvenate.  This hasn't been happening and I am feeling defeated upon waking up and it lasts all day.

2.  My house is TRASHED.  I don't function well in a messy space but I don't have the time or energy (see #1) to fix it.  I feel like a hamster on a wheel to nowhere.  I know someone wise will say to ignore the house and focus on the kids because time moves so fast.  blah blah blah.  I know that, but a messy house means a messy unorganized day.  And a messy unorganized day means a very FRAZZLED JANELLE.

3.  The constant fighting is KILLING ME SLOWLY.  My tolerance level for all the fighting is at an all time low.  Everything grates on my nerves right now. 

4.  Along with the fighting is the constant demand on my time.  Someone needs something at all times.  From sun up to sun down (read #1 again).

5.  Littlest one potty training.  (Read #1, and #4)

6.  It's HOT and HUMID and I'm not really an outside kinda girl.  (I added this one late because I have been hot all day.  Hot Janelle = Crabby Janelle.) 

7.  I have one child that thrives on tight structure.  Without it THE WORLD STOPS SPINNING and all *&#$ breaks loose.  High perfectionism and OCD tendencies are not a good combination with a laid back summer.  Transitioning into summer is very hard on this little one.  It affects the whole house, namely me.  With enough time, things eventually fall into place but not without severe gnashing of teeth and loss of privileges a mile long.

(insert pity party here)

Add that all up and you have one frustrated, drained, irritable, tired, emotional mess of a woman.  Not the mommy that my kids deserve.  Not the wife that Skip deserves.  I am not giving them my best. 

I am very unattractive.

After reading Sara's, Denise's and Kristen's blogs I felt very convicted of my attitude and my attention to the here and now.  I won't ever do this perfectly, but I can do better than I have.

We spent the day creating our Bucket List.  I am happy with the ideas my kids presented.  I told them we would try our hardest to do most of these things.  Some of them cost $$ so we will have to see if it fits in the budget.  But now we have a plan.

And I have a proactive attitude.

Here is our cute bucket.

And here is our idea list that they typed, printed and cut into strips. 

White Water

Splash Country

Eat out

Silver Dollar City

Bowling

Mini golf

Camp in

Cars 2

Picnic

Blueberry picking

Hotdogging

Tubing

Neighborhood pool

Rec Plex pool

Grisham’s pool

Lunch with granny

Lunch of choice

Donut date

Craft

Invite a friend

Uncle Mikey's store

Library incentives

Skating

Jump mania

Kids cook dinner

Take Bristow to lake

Play Doh

Horses

Movie Theater

Sprinklers

Redbox

Baseball Game

St. Louis

Lunch with Dad

Nature hike

Take a walk

Paint

Bouncy House

Ride Bikes

Feed ducks

Picnic

Make cookies

Star Gaze

Go Carts

Ma & Pa’s house

Gramma Papa’s house

KAMP!!

B2 School Shopping

Creek

Make Ice Cream

Play at the park

Wiffle Ball game

VBS

Thanks for listening to my heart!  I know that a lot of great mommies out there are feeling the same way.  Mothering is HARD.  Harder than anything I ever imagined.  Let's sharpen and encourage one another to be the mommy that God desires us to be.

Imperfectly yours,

"HEY! Who down there?"

I probably broke a million rules filming this...

Race on over to THE TRACK BLOG to read my testimonial about our date night with the kids. While you are there, use their website to plan you next Branson vacation, including a fabulous trip to any one of The Track locations. Sign up your email address and you can receive Branson/Track insider information all year long. You must come visit our fun town!!

My mission as a mom is complete. I have successfully embarrassed my children with this video.

Score.

I have a feeling, however, that when Langley starts driving I will be the one telling her to put her phone down and she will be the one blowing me off.

Score for her.

In the meantime, we will stick to go-carts!

Disclaimers (for my peace of mind only):
1. I hate hate hate the sound of my voice! Can you say, shrill?
2. Sorry about the crotch shot at the end. Nice.
3.  I bet there are a handful of people that go watch the video again just to see what I'm talking about.  That's just awkward.

I am a frosting snob.

OK.  I will be the first to admit that I am a total snob when it comes to frosting. If I am going to splurge on a sweet piece of cake, I want the frosting to be worth it.  In my opinion, it's less about the cake and more about the frosting. On a good piece of cake with REAL frosting, I always want one of the corner pieces. More frosting to cake ratio.

I just realized that the word "cake" is my favorite word. That, and the word "baby". Both conjure up great visuals for me.

But, I digress.

Back to frosting. I am sure there are other fabulous frosting recipes in the world. I haven't found one that I would replace mine with yet. I could be persuaded though. Just bring your frosting to my house for me to sample. That would be THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. Frosting delivered to my door for me to sample?

Yes, please. I will be home all day tomorrow!

(I am only slightly kidding)

Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  About to share my recipe for REAL frosting.  I got this from a friend of a friend of a friend.  Then I adapted it slightly, just enough to call it mine.

Here's what you need.  All these things separate are terrible to eat.  But when you whip them together...pure awesomeness.

Creamy White Frosting
from a friend of a friend of a friend

1/2 cup Crisco
1/2 cup butter, softened (aka, 1 stick)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Beat on medium for 30 seconds (Or longer.  I always take that time to measure out my powdered sugar)

You will need 4 1/2 cups powdered sugar.  Add half (2 1/4 cup).

Beat well and add 2T milk to smooth it out.

Then add the SECOND HALF powdered sugar. Mix until incorporated.

Add another 2T-ish of milk until your frosting has reached spreading consistency.

Then the magic happens.

Oh, baby.  Come to mommy.

For Wit's 3rd birthday cake, I found inspiration on my friend Lynn's blog.  She made darling cupcake balloons and I knew immediately that I MUST COPY HER!  Wit also wanted Curious George, so I used the famous picture of him holding the balloons as he flew through the air.

I seperated the first batch of frosting into 4 bowls and added Wilton's coloring paste to each one for the balloon colors. 

I adore.

Then, I made a second batch for George's body.

I am not a perfectionist, so I will never be a good baker.  But I was pleased with my attempt.  It was a fun cake for my fun baby boy!

What about you?  Are you a cake or frosting snob?

What is your favorite flavor combination?

Mine is chocolate cake with REAL white frosting.

In case you forgot, I will be home for frosting samples ALL DAY tomorrow!

"I'm three now!"

You cruised past 1...

You zoomed past 2...

and you just kept going--WOW!!

You've raced your way to THREE today!

You're such a big kid now!

*sweet card from my grannie to Wit
*how did Hallmark know that is exactly how I feel?
*Wit, please stop growing so fast, my heart can't take it.
*and tell your brother and sister to do the same
*thankyouverymuch

The four RZ's.

It seems like yesterday that I promised to tell you the story of how our antique store got it's name.  To my surprise, a week has gone by.  Time flies when the kids are home for summer break.  But you are in luck today.  All three darlings have stopped fighting (for the moment) and are playing quietly in separate corners of the house.  So here goes. 

The story behind the name RZ's.

The day had finally arrived.  The day that we gave birth to our first son.

Skip and I woke up at about 4 am on April 18, 2001.  We drove to the hospital and anxiously awaited the next few hours while they prepped me for birth.  I couldn't believe we were about to see our baby boy. 

Our first child.

Finally, the moment arrived.  Our son was born and placed lovingly into my arms.  Tears of joy from Skip and I.  We were parents! 

The nurse gazed upon this new family.  She asked us what name we were giving our new baby boy.

We looked adoringly into our baby's eyes and said, "We shall name him Ralph."


UM, WHAT?!

OK.  OK.  It wasn't quite like that.  But let me explain why we did name our sweet baby boy, Ralph. 

The first Ralph and his sweet bride, Earlene.  Aren't they cute?

Skip's grandpa on his dad's side was named Ralph Zebedee Miller.  By all accounts, he was a gentle, loving man.  His family adored him.  I missed meeting him by just a few months.  Skip and I started dated after he had passed away.  His absence left a huge hole in their family.  All the children and grandchildren revered him.  I am so sad that I never met the man that filled their hearts with so much joy. 

Skip's favorite memory of his grandpa was that he always drove with a lead foot.  When he pulled out of a parking lot, white dust and rock heavily sprayed the area. 

Apparently, this was his signature move!

Anyway, he named his first son Ralph Zebedee Miller, Jr.  That man is Skip's dad.  Probably the smartest and most generous man I have ever met.  He has a tender heart where his family is concerned.  He is a work horse that could have retired many years ago from the family businesses, but is still going strong in his early 80's.  He has a deep passion for his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  If he isn't working, he is at some child's activity or sporting event.  He loves to see all his kids excel.

Ralph 2 surrounded by all his people.

Ralph, Jr. also loves to travel and has a heart for adventure.  He has planned 16 "Mystery Trips" for us over the years.  It is always a blast trying to figure out where he is taking this big crazy family after Christmas. We have been to some amazing places!  When he sees all the family together he always squeezes his wife's hand and says, "All I wanted was a movie."  Lovingly referring to their first date.  He is a special man.

Anyway, he had a son that he named Ralph Zebedee Miller, III.  Or, affectionately known as "Skip".  My husband.  And I am crazy about him. My life wouldn't be complete without my best friend.  He is such a good man, great father and a very hard worker.  He carries this family on his back. 

Every. Single. Day.

Anyway, Skip (Ralph 3) had a son that he named Ralph Zebedee Miller IV.  Or, as we call him, "Zeb".  Our first born son.

Ralph 2, Ralph 3 and the newest Ralphie.

Ralph 2,3 and 4 go walking.

This precious name has been in the family for over 100 years.  I hope and pray that it will continue with Zeb and so on down the line.  It is so special to Skip's family.

This picture is priceless.  I can only imagine what Ralph 4 was telling his papa.

Another thing that is special is the family business.  It started back in 1975 when Skip's parents moved to B-Town from North Carolina.  Back in the day, the family sold fabric and assorted merchandise to the B-Town tourists.  In 1988, they started the $1 Shops.  The first store of its kind.  Now you can buy quality $1 merchandise just about anywhere. 

Throughout the most recent years, the company has faced many hardships and cut backs.  Just like everything else in America it has weathered the economic storms.  The face of the company looks different this year, but the family is still thriving and working hard to bring it all back to the glory days.

Ralph, Jr is still the head of the company and many many family members are the arms, legs, sweat and muscle.  So when it came time to name the newest business (the flea market), Skip and his sisters went with the initials "RZ" to symbolize how important the Ralph legacy has been over the years.

And that, my friends, is the story of the four Ralphs. 

Funny side note.  I was laying in bed with Zeb (Ralph 4) the other night talking about this very thing.  I asked him if he was going to continue the name when he has a son. 

He said, "Yes, but I don't think Ralph will ever be a cool name."

He started brainstorming "cool" nicknames for the future Ralph 5.

He came up with "ALF".

Because naming a baby after a furry alien in an 80's sitcom is totally cool.

Doing some shameless promoting today.

Today, I am taking a break from the silly stories to promote one of Skip's family businesses. I think you are going to love it as much as I do.

Skip and his two sisters are flea market/garage sale/auction fanatics. They jump at the chance to wander through aisles of vintage treasures. Finding that "hidden gem" is pure excitement!  Out of this passion, a business was born.

RZ's Antiques and Flea Market

They have worked laboriously to turn one of our existing B-Town stores into a really cool flea market. I am so proud of the work that they are doing. It's fun to see a passion come to life.

Even in the infancy of this store, it is taking shape and stocked with some really cool things. If you live in B-Town, or plan on visiting anytime soon make RZ's a stop on your agenda. I don't think you will be disappointed.

Here are some of the things that I am seriously in love with.

Um, hello.... "potty training incentive" filled with yummy M&Ms.

Vintage hankies and towels are so pretty!

Hello, gorgeous!

Great for a fall display!

Old vintage radio.  This baby sold in ONE DAY!

Sunshiny yellow happiness!!

For the man in your life. These are absolutely COOL!!

White anything is awesome!  I love this trio of fancy white jars.

Again with the white.  Crisp and clean.  New hardware on this baby would make it perfect!

Sweet yellow.  This would look great in my house.  Just sayin.

I am envisioning a party table.  Salsa and dips would be so amazing in these!

Could this be any cuter???

This just SCREAMS summer to me!  I love the cheery red finish!

I have a deep passion for dishes.  This one makes me happy!

This olive green beauty might end up in my house.  I heart it!

On so many levels, this would be perfect for a  baby nursery.  Vintage and sweet.

Aprons are totally back in style.  Love the kitchy feel of these.

 

And LOOKIE what I just got from the flea market!  This pub table is awesome!!

My favorite feature of this table is the height!  I love these little piggies hanging off the chair!

Even my big kid has dangly feet.  This table ROCKS!

Thanks for taking a peek inside our new business with me!  If you want some booth space, please leave a comment and I will get you the information.

Please come by and hunt for your next treasure!

Tomorrow, or the next time I can sit for longer than 20 minutes, I will blog about the significance of the name RZ's.  It's a great story!!

In the meantime, could you do me a teensy favor and head to RZ's Antiques and Flea Market facebook page and "like" us? 

Why does that statement make me feel like I am in the fourth grade all over again??

*sweaty palms*