Twenty years this summer.

It's been twenty years since I've worn braces.

How do I remember such a weird milestone? Because I graduated high school wearing those same braces.  My parents wouldn't let me get them taken off before my senior pictures like the lucky girl's parents did.

I was so jealous that the lucky girl got hers taken off just in time for pictures and I still had a year to go.

I'm still bitter about it.

(But I looked like that back then and could have used all the help I could get.)

(I probably should have invested more time in worrying about my hair and less about my braces.)

(Clear braces turn yellow.  Did anyone know that?  Well, they do.  Bright yellow.)

(If only I had a time machine.)

It's so funny what you remember about a time period in which you would love to forget. 

I remember being intimidated by the popular crowd and the "jocks".

I remember thinking that one critical mistake would be the legacy by which people would define me.

I remember agonizing over a pimple (and those darn braces) thinking my life was ruined forever.

I remember wearing Skip's letterman's jacket and feeling like I didn't deserve it.

I remember teachers that liked me and teachers that didn't.

I remember being more concerned about my after school activities than my school work.

I remember the smell of the halls and the sound of Mrs. L's clickety tall boots.

I remember feeling inspired by a science teacher and humiliated by a math one.

I remember wishing I had better clothes and better hair and better shoes.

*somethingsneverchange*


I remember carrying around my insecurities like a giant backpack.

I remember sitting on those bleachers waiting for them to call my name so my grown up life could begin.

A twenty year reunion seems ridiculous when you are 18.  The world is ahead of you and you are invincible.  Anything is possible.  Everything is attainable.   The gap between what you know and what you THINK you know is huge.

Eighteen is a cocky age.

Thirty eight, not so much.  You (hopefully) have ripened and softened and been seasoned by life.  You (hopefully) have become the person you wish you could have been in high school.  Confident, wise, stable, proven.

Improved.

Twenty years is the perfect amount of time for a reunion.  Not that I wasn't a nervous wreck when the planning committee started to send out facebook plans.  I was a MESS trying to get ready for the reunion.  I struggled with my weight and my clothes and my hair just like I did 20 years ago.

But I knew something that I didn't back then.

I knew I was SAFE.  No matter what I blurted out of my mouth, or if my shoes weren't exactly right, or even if I woke up with a zit the size of Texas. 

I was safe.  I knew that life would go on even if these people didn't like me anymore.  It wouldn't change my life to be rejected or snubbed.  My high school self was going to be OK no matter what!

And I am so glad that I realized that.  It was such a fun weekend.  It was great to see old friends and find out where life has taken them since high school.  Everyone was so sweet and genuinely interested in one another.  Such a relief to know that none of that high school stuff mattered anymore.

Here's to the next 20 years.

May we all continue to improve!


And about those braces, SOOOOO thankful!  Even if my 18 year-old self was mentally scarred.  She'll get over it.

It's a "snow" day!

It's a "sleep until 9:00" day.

It's a "stay in jammies" day.

It's a "DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER!!!" day.

It's a "sunshine and snow" day.

It's a "don't let the sunshine fool you" day.

It's a "one more cup of coffee" day.

It's a "please don't leave us daddy" day.

It's a "layer up" day.

It's a "bake chocolate chip cookies" day.

It's a "GO TO YOUR SEPERATE CORNERS" day.

It's a "play-doh" day.

It's a "chase me and tickle me" day.

It's a "snow ice cream" day.



It's a "WHAT HAPPENED NOW?" day.

It's a "go play in the tee pee" day.

It's a "laundry stops for no man" day.

It's an "UGH! Bristow's eating my toys again" day.

It's a "read a book" day.

It's a "kettle korn" day.

It's a "Mo-ooom, he's not playing with me" day.

It's an "I can't move with all these layers on" day.

It's an "after lunch is nap time" day.

It's a "Wii" day.

It's a "Yahoo! Did you see that, mom?" day.

It's an "are you ready to be nice?" day.

It's a "hide and seek" day.

It's a "we still need to practice your spelling words" day.

It's a "we ran out of marshmallows" day

It's an "I am glad to be your mommy today" day.

Quotes from the 2nd Grade.

"Why do girls talk so much more than boys?"

"I played with GM the first recess. The second recess I just couldn't find anybody."

"But Mom, all I was hungry for was cookies."

"Today was great. Mrs. B didn't expect anything out of me!"

"This is the year that I have been excited for."

"Give Wingman 100 hugs, 100 kisses and tell him that I love him."

"One boy got sick, one boy got in trouble and one boy doesn't care."

"I don't know what this picture means. She told me to draw, so I drew."

"There are alot of rules in the 2nd grade."

"OK. I will wear the plaid shorts but NOT the collared shirt."

"Tomorrow, I want a dollar to buy Gatorade."

All in all, it was a good day! I am so proud of Z and I know this will be a great year.

A week in review, and yes there will be a test at the end.

I am actually sitting. For what seems like the first time since Z started school. It is nice. I have my feet propped up and the computer comfortably positioned on my lap. I have forgotten what this feels like. I just sent Z out the door with my carpooling buddy. If you haven't heard me say this before...carpooling is a beautiful thing.

Anyway, this may turn out to be the longest post ever since all I can think of is the whirlwind week we have had. I thought I would do a review of our highlights. People. It would not hurt my feelings one bit, if you left me now. Unread. Honestly.

Thursday was the start of school. My body is getting acclimated to the early to rise, early to bed rule. I am not a morning person. Neither is my son. Needless to say, I have to wake him up 15 minutes early just so he can lay on the bathroom floor. It is sloooowwww going in the morning. But so far, his attitude has been very cheery. I can handle slow with a smile. He is loving school, although I hear about that through the grapevine. Z tends to be tight-lipped when it comes to, well, everything. That is another reason I love carpooling. He will giggle and tell his friends all about recess, or music, or PE. I feel like a spy as I listen to the backseat. It is very tricky driving with one ear 3 feet behind me. Believe me.

Friday after school, Z had a birthday party/sleepover for a great friend of his. Since his friends have great parents, Skip and I stayed for most of the party. The boys, most of them 2nd graders, had a blast playing video games, air hockey, basketball, baseball, wrestling, Guitar Hero. Really it was a dream come true for the male species. Food, technology, and a chance to show of their "muscles". What more could you ask for? While the boys and dads played, the moms had a great time talking. It was a great night!

Saturday was a great family day. We relaxed and played together. It was one of those magical days with the kids. They actually played TOGETHER all day with little fighting. Rare, but oh so good. Later that evening we had a family birthday party for our nephew. One thing is true about boys, no matter the age they love the same things. Food. technology and a chance to show off their muscles.

Sunday, we scrubbed up the kids and headed to church. After church, the kids went to their cousins' house and Skip and I headed to the lake to meet our Supper Club. Every summer we rent a pontoon for 4 hours without kids. It is amazing what 12 adults are like without their little people. The talking, the giggling, the vegging, the junk food snacking. I think all of us needed a breather after the hectic first days of school. The time went by quickly but left me feeling refreshed. Ready to start another week.

That just about sums up my last several days. For those of you that stuck around to read this, I give you an A just for being a good friend.

Now run along and go read a better blog!

Thursday 13...School Edition

13 Things about the 1st Day of 1st Grade

written by Z-Man

1. I wore a nice shirt.

2. I put my school supplies in my cubbie and my desk.

3. I fell and hurt my knee. (ahhhh...sad face from mom!)

4. We had music class.

5. My teacher looks like she is about in her twenties. (she is precious!)

6. I played with J and B at recess.

7. I sat by A at lunch.

8. We had a visit from our new counselor...Miss Bee.

9. I did worksheets...monster ones.

10. I don't like that lunch is so short.

11. I just ate a couple of grapes and my M&Ms.

12. My least favorite thing was sitting.

13. My favorite thing was my locker...number 60.

Well, looks like I was worried for nuthin! We are off to a good start.

Wrestling

For the last few weeks I have been a nervous wreck waiting to hear who Z's teacher is. I wrestled with God for days on end. Literally beating a dead horse. My biggest struggle is trusting God with my kids. I give them to Him, but I take them right back. Whatever the circumstance is. Give, take. Give, take. When will I trust with my whole heart that His will is better than mine? When will I release them completely without hesitation? Here is proof of His faithfulness.

Father, I am so nervous for Z in 1st grade. I pray for a kind and compassionate teacher. I pray for friends in his classroom, I pray for an easy transition. I pray that his heart and mind will open for learning. I pray that he will be motivated and willing to do the work. Father, I am anxious for this year.

Do not be anxious about anything.

I don't know what I am nervous about. But I have heard that this could be a hard year. Oh, how I pray that his teacher will love him and encourage him to be his best. Lord, I am nervous to find out who she is. Father, hand pick his classroom for him. Please.

I have it all under control. Trust Me.

Trust? I do trust You. I think. But do You know what he needs? Do You know how shy and sensitive he is? Will you pick his teacher based on that?

I know every hair on his head. He is fearfully and wonderfully made.

You are right, Lord. You created him to be the boy he is. I just don't want him to struggle.

Peace.

Peace? Why don't I feel peace? All I feel is worry and anxiety. Is Your peace really there?

My peace surpasses all understanding. It will guard your heart and mind. Take it, daughter.

OK, Lord. I will chose to trust You. I know You will take good care of us. I know that You have Z in the palm of Your hand. I just don't want him to struggle.

Tribulation brings perseverance. And perseverance, proven character. And proven character, hope. And hope does not disappoint.

Lord, you are right. I do want him to develop all of that. I do want him to become stronger. I don't want him to be too comfortable so that he never grows. He will have to face challenges. He will struggle. He will fail and face heartache. Oh, will I be able to take it?

Be strong and courageous. I am with you wherever you go.

Oh, Father! I can't believe how You provided for us. You did listen. You did hear my cry. Thank You, Lord. I am in awe. Not only did you provide a sweet teacher, but You also gave Z some friends. Thank You for Your favor. You are good. I am sorry that I didn't trust You. I am sorry that I couldn't release Z into Your waiting hands. I am sorry that I got in Your way. Please forgive me. I have so much to learn.

For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find ME when you search for Me with all your heart.

Thank you, Father.

Cry Me a River

Attention all mommies sending their kids off to school for the first or 11th time:

This book, The Kissing Hand is a must read.

I can't read the following words without shedding a tear and wondering how I will manage my time apart from my kids this school year.

Mrs. Raccoon smiled. "Now," she told Chester, "whenever you feel lonely and need a little loving from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think, 'Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you.' And that very kiss (the one she pressed into the palm of his hand) will jump to your face and fill you with toasty warm thoughts."

I felt so safe last year sending Z to Kindergarten. I knew he would be safe in the environment that I taught in. I knew the teachers, staff and principal. I knew they loved him and loved on him. It was a great year filled with so many wonderful memories for both of us.

This year, I am finding myself becoming more anxious with each passing day. This is a year of change for both kids. Z will start 1st grade and L will start preschool.

Loulabelle will have the time of her life this year bossing er...I mean, socializing with all the other kids. She just has that way about her. I don't really worry that she will get into a situation she can't handle. I will miss our time together, but she will be just fine. She will thrive. She will be in her element. I love her preschool teacher and trust that she will care for my sweet girl. I am so excited for her to start this new chapter in her life.

But Z. I worry about him more. I worry because he worries. He worries because I worry. We worry together about what his teacher will be like. Will she love him? Will she care about him? Will she listen to him? Will she see that he will blossom and change if given the opportunity? Will she protect him? Will she push him and encourage him? Will she know how special he is?

Will I trust the Father's plan for him?

My heart is anxious. I don't want to let my kids go just yet. I want to hang on to them as long as possible so they know that "Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you." But I know I can't. I know they must become the boy and girl that God created them to be. I know that means they have to learn to fly...

OK...I'm pathetic. Me and "Aunt Flo" are going to go have a good cry now and maybe drown these tears in chocolate.

Good night!