The {slightly annoying completely ridiculous} debate within.

So, I am having this ridiculous debate within myself and I need some wisdom.

It's so ridiculous, I can't believe I am even debating this. I am even more ashamed that I am admitting debating this.  It's taken up an enormous amount of mental energy over the last few months, weeks, days.

The debate?

To drink coffee, or not to drink coffee.

If you have known me long, you know that I looooovvveee coffee.  Well, that's not technically true.  I love the cream and sugar that make the coffee wonderful.  Think of the color ivory and go a few shades lighter than that.  That is how much cream and sugar it takes me to really loooooovvvveeee coffee.  In January 2010, I cut it out of my life.  I started noticing my waistline getting softer and my clothes getting tighter.  I don't blame it entirely on the coffee/cream/sugar, but it certainly didn't help matters.

So I cut it out.  Not back, O-U-T.

And I have missed it everyday since then.

Recently, I treated myself to a white chocolate mocha at bible study.

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!

Not really, but it was pretty darn good.  Except for the astronomy lesson fail.

{Other than that.}

After that day, I made myself wait one week, ONEWHOLEWEEK, until I could get another coffee treat at a Mom's Playdate.  ANOTHER HOME RUN.

Now?

It's all I can think about.

And I have fallen off the wagon.

{Currently sipping a sweet cup of creamy, sugary, caffeinated goodness}

{The flavor, Angel's Kiss, if you must know.  How could something so innocent be bad?}

I am super-duper happy holding a cup of coffee and reaping the amazing benefits. 

BUT THE GUILT IS ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME!!!

That is where you come in.  Help me make this decision.  

I am dead serious.

Do I dive back in and ration the cream and sugar down, or do I stop again and only treat myself occasionally?  And if I do start again how do I manage the guilt? And if I stop how do I manage the temptation?  What would you do if you were me? 

{See what I mean?}

It's comical that this has taken up so much of my mental energy.  But it has.

Soooooooooooooo.....

Give me wisdom, oh wise ones.

Astronomy fail.

Have you ever had a day where you just saw the world more clearly? Where everything is in focus and sharp. You feel alive and refreshed and really, really AWESOME.

That was last Wednesday for me.

I was ON.

And I was LOVING it because I know how rare those days are for me.

Not once did I lose my patience with the countless, "why's" coming from the backseat. I embraced each of them as a learning opportunity. I taught Wit about shadows and light, sunshine and shade. We stared up at the clouds and saw whales and airplanes and Santa. We ran in a field of dandelions and twirled until I almost threw up.

I just couldn't stop the awesome.

{really hope you can hear the sarcasm here}

Anyway, sometime during the day I realized the source of all this energy.  It came in the form of a white chocolate mocha.  I was fully caffeinated, which is rare.  Days like this make me wonder why I ever gave up caffeine in the first place.

I kept waiting for the crash.  The caffeine coma that happens about 5 hours after a really strong drink.  But it never hit.  I never crashed.  I just kept getting more awesome! {sarcasm, again.}

As I was driving the kids after school we saw the moon in the bright blue sky.  Every time this happens, Wit screams at the moon and tells it to, "GET BACK TO CHINA."  You know, because every three year old cares about time zones and moon cycles.

Oh silly child. 

I thought it best to use this as an amazing opportunity to teach my precious children astronomy.  We pulled into the garage and I proceeded to get two balls, one big and one small.  The big one I called EARTH and the small ball I called THE SUN.

{did you catch that, cause I sure didn't}

I assumed my best teacher voice and proceeded to instruct my two youngest about the daily cycle of the sun rotating around the earth.  With the big ball of EARTH in one hand, I moved the small SUN around it and said,

"We are on the top of the Earth and when the sun is above us, it is daytime.  When the sun rotates below us, it is night for us but day for the countries on the bottom.  And the sun does this every day."

everysingleday

FACT:  The sun rotates around the Earth everyday.  I had visual aids to prove it which immediately makes it 87% more legit.

Somewhere along my unforgettable astronomy lesson, Zeb walked up.  He listened for about half a minute before he interrupted and said,

"Mom, really?  REALLY?  Are you kidding?  Why are you LYING to them?"

He's eleven.  What could he possibly know about astronomy.  This was MY MOMENT.  Mine and my rockin' visual aids.  I'm at the top of my game.


"Son, I am not LYING to them, I am teaching them about how the sun rotates around the earth everyday making night and day."  sheesh

"Mom???  Are you OK?"

"Um, yeah.  I'm MORE than OK.  Why?"

"Oh, I don't know...BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG!!!  {insert really annoying tween boy laughter.  I am sure you don't have to use your imagination.}  The sun doesn't revolve around the earth AT ALL.  And you have the size of the balls all wrong.  The big ball is the sun and the little ball is the earth.  THE EARTH SPINS AROUND THE SUN AND IT TAKES A WHOLE YEAR.  A WHOLE YEAR, MOM"

Now the tween boy laughter just got louder and louder and louder and more annoying.  In fact, it was starting to hurt a little.  Finally, he walked away.

"Hey, Dad?  You should hear what mom just said about the sun and the earth.  I JUST SCHOOLED HER"

aaaaaannnnd, the teacher becomes the student.

I guess all the awesome had worn off somewhere in the field of dandelions and twirling.

Which, I nailed, by the way.

I am in list mode today.

Giving up coffee may not have been the smartest thing I have ever done. The detox is KILLING me. Throw a bad cold on top of that and I am struggling to make it. Since my head is being squished and my lungs are collapsing, a list is all I have to offer.

Pathetic.

1. Zeb is currently looking for a new home. We had a falling out in front of the Pizza Hut man at Target so now he is wants a new family. Any takers? He's nine. The age of reason.

2. Yesterday we almost lost Wit. Skip thought he was with Zeb and Langley. They thought he was with Daddy. Panic ensued. We rushed in and out of every room, upstairs and down. I was crying, the kids were yelling. We found him in a dark closet eating candy. It took me about two hours to calm down.

3. I made banana bread today. Nothing smells better than that.

4. Today Langley's school celebrated 100 Man Lunch. The goal is to fill the building with great daddies, grandpas, or uncles. They served corn dogs and hugs. Skip was having a horrible day so it was a nice relief to spend some time with his favorite girl.

5. Surely by next week, this caffeine headache will be gone. Right?

6. American Idol. I am thrilled with the judges. I think this will be a great season.

7. Speaking of TV. Skip and I borrowed six seasons of HOUSE, M.D. from our nephew. We have been watching 2-3 episodes a night and just started season 4. It makes me feel snarky all the time. Someone once compared Skip to Dr. House...now I think that was an insult.

8. There is no way I can make it to #10.

9. Remember my pretty yellow *French* teapot that I won from another blogger? Well, the company contacted me yesterday and asked if I would be interested in hosting a giveaway. It took about 3 seconds to respond...YES, YES, YES!!! THANKYOUVERYMUCH!! So you will have to come back tomorrow and enter to win a $25 gift certificate to CSN Stores. Fabulous! They have EVERYTHING!

Good night and see you tomorrow! 

Why in HEAVENS name would I do this?

This pretty much confirms that I HATE myself and love self-torture. I am giving up coffee.

Actually, that's not true.

The coffee, I have no problem with. The amount of cream and sugar it takes to make that coffee tasty, that's the problem.

I think there is a direct correlation to my cup of cream and my waistline.

Anyway, I am giving it two weeks to see.

Pray for my family.

Ode to Coffee

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Coffee

10. It smells good.
9. With enough cream and sugar, it tastes good. The ratio is very important!
8. It makes me feel good to hold my mug with one hand while I walk around the house-- can't explain it.
7. How can you not feel cool sitting in Starbucks?
6. Honestly, it keeps me regular :)
5. Before coffee, I am (yawn) woman. After coffee, I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!
4. It gets me out of bed.
3. Cappuccino Punch--that is enough to make everyone an addict! Just set up my IV drip with this in the bag.
2. Warm or cold, it's a classic.
1. The love, the truth, the secrets, the laughs, the tears, the prayers--spending time with beloved friends over a good cup of joe.

To all the coffee drinkers in my life (you know who you are) I love you!