Just two short weeks ago we were...
- celebrating the end of diapers FOREVER
- making our summer bucket list
- going on play dates
- having sleepovers
- celebrating my step-dad's tournament victory on our hometown lake
- making 4th of July potluck plans
- planning a trip to St. Louis with some of our best friends
Two weeks ago my brother had a stroke and Skip's dad had a heart attack. Both within two days of each other. Both in two different hospitals in our area. Both serious.
As if that wasn't enough. My family also had 3 rounds of stomach flu and 1 throat virus with high fevers to manage. Add in other heavy and very sad life issues surrounding us. Our small corner of the world was hit hard.
We adapted.
Our schedules, our kids, our plans, our calendar, our desires all adapted to fit the needs of this crisis. Skip and I passed each other coming and going from one hospital to another. Our kids went from friend to friend to friend. I struggle with asking for help. Meaning that it must be a weakness of some sort to admit that you are struggling and need your friends. It's not. My friends busted down the wall I was building and love poured through the cracks. Every text, every call, every meal, every offer for kids was perfectly timed in my weakest moments.
God knew what I needed and when. And He made my friends even more amazing.
Both men are home from their respective hospitals and are slowly getting nursed back to health. Both will take some time before they are back to normal. Life slowly is starting to fall back into place. Our vacation plans to St. Louis were cancelled. But we adapted, once again and had a staycation (post coming) with our friends. Smiles have started to replace worry lines.
Then yesterday.
My mom, who is nursing my brother back to health, fell and broke her wrist in two places. Two very bad breaks. She finds out tomorrow whether those breaks will require surgery to heal. (Oh, please Lord, no)
My heart can't take any more hurt.
I am finding myself at a loss for words.
My God understands.
He can read between the silent broken pieces of my heart.
My job. Keep laying down my fears, my worries, my anger, my doubts, my weariness, my will.
At His feet.
At the cross.
Wait for joy.
And rest.
13 comments:
Oh girl. I didn't know about Peggy. I am so sorry. I'm here and I love you.
Oh, sweet one... praying you through. So proud of the way you've weathered this storm, and I'm confident that He will see you through to the end - His glory shining from you all the way. Love you.
Oh my goodness......I'm just so sorry!! I'm praying for y'all tonight. ((hugs)) my friend.
Janelle,
God knows. He knows the tug of your heart, he knows the skipped beats, the speeding rhythm, the time you thought it would completely stop. He knows. He is there holding you in his loving hands, just waiting for you to close your eyes so he can whisper peace over your tired body. At one of the most painful crisis of my life (the kind you hope you wake up from and it didn't happen), God showed me the intricate beauty in a single blade of grass. It was as if he said, "Mia, this is just a blade of grass... I spent so much more time on your beauty and strength. You were made in my own image and I will not forsake you." I hope that you find such a message being whispered in your ear. I will be praying for peace for your family.
Mia (Brittain) Elliott
As your friend, I am at a loss for words. I feel helpless as I watch you struggle and deal with these things. I know you know I'm here for you..anytime..anything..anyone..anywhere. I love you.
Oh Jannelle, I am so sorry for all this heartache you are going through. I am praying for you and your families. I would love to help in any way I can. lots of hugs to you,
Heather
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
I love you so much and I am at a loss for words for you. But I think you said it best to yourself at the end of this post. Accept his grace and take it slowly...one moment at a time. I WANT TO HELP IN ANY WAY YOU NEED ME.
wow janelle. that is a lot of stress. i'm so sorry. but i so appreciate your sharing your heart in such a beautiful way. thanks for letting us in. what an honor. love you!
ditto what pam said! "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
i once asked a counselor, "why am i always the weak one?" he said, so God can display his strength through you." my response was "well, he has a lot of opportunity to do that" the counselor responded, "praise the Lord!"
i am realizing that God must think a lot of me to want to display his strength in me. AND he must think A LOT of you and your family to want to display his strength through you ALL!!
you may not see him doing it, being glorified, but he is!!! and that janelly, that is where your joy is... in the KNOWING, HE IS UP TO SOMETHING! something for his glory... in you, skip, your brother, f.i.l., your mom. God is up to something.
and i love that your friends broke down your walls and God made them help. i don't ask for help either. God has given me a lot of opportunity to need it (premature child, hemorrhaging, miscarriage, sprained ankle during pregnancy, hysterectomy, back injury, kidney bolders... to name just a few).
he loves you. he loves you. he loves you.
"Consider it Pure Joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2,3
I love you my friend!
Janelle - Psalm 91 is my go to passage for life lately. It's the resting that's the hardest...at least for me. I'm a doer and I want to fix things and see immediate results. How hard it is when life swirls around you to sit and rest in the "shadow of the almighty." He's there, spreading his arms wide and providing you a shady spot to sit down, cry at his feet, and rest. And you know what...He's big enough to handle our anger too (I remind myself of that a lot).
just so you know. you are being used by God in others' lives. mine, to be exact. God is using you to minister to me. to teach me lessons. to see my own feelings written down. i know it's not making sense. but know that through your trials, the Almighty is ministering to me. love you, friend.
Love you...so honored to be your friend and walk through both hills and valleys with you.
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