A Blonde Walks into the Grocery Store.

For sake of convience, I will play the part of the "blonde" in this story.

A blonde walks into the grocery store. She has 5 things to buy and has memorized them. It was quite the feat for the blonde to memorize her list. She has so many other important things on her brain. But she accomplished it. Apples, sausage, fritos, milk, cream cheese. She even bought a couple of extra things her family would appreciate.

That blonde. She is always thinking of others.

She is very proud of the fact that she did her shopping in just a mere 10 minutes. She will be back to her hungry family in no time.

That blonde. She is so good at time management.

She proceeded to the checkout counter and got her items on the conveyor belt in a flash. The clerk rang them in while mouthing the words to "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" The clerk then gave the blonde the total. In a jiffy, she had her credit card out to pay.

That blonde. She sure knows the ropes at the grocery store.

"Credit or Debit?" mumbles the clerk.

"Oh, yes. I am pregnant. Thanks for asking!" cheers the blonde.

That blonde. She makes friends wherever she goes.

You should read all about the Blonde Walks into McDonalds. She will crack you up!

Are math skills hereditary?

Cuz, if they are, I know where she got her genes from.

This was overheard on our way home from church tonight.

Loulabelle: (said with sas!) "Moooom, I know. I already know everything you say."

Z: "Oh yeah? If you already know everything, what is 100 + 100?"

L: "100"

Z: "No, 200. What is 10 + 10?"

L: "10"

Z: "No, 20. What is 4 + 4?"

L: "4"

Z: "NO. I thought you said you knew everything."

L: " I do!"

Z: "OK. What is 1000 + 30?"

L: "A lot."

Oh, girl. You are more my daughter everyday!

Guilt be gone.

Can I just tell you of all the sleepless nights I have had since I destroyed Skip's bumper and our house? I haven't been able to sleep or eat. The guilt has nearly destroyed me.

Well, there was that one nap I took yesterday and the almost full night's sleep the night before. OK, so I have been able to sleep. Nothing could take me away from my favorite past-time.

Also, I have been eating. The baby has needed nutrition. But I haven't enjoyed it. I promise you that! Except for the BLT I had at Sonic. That was just darn tasty. Again, it was for the baby.

Today is a new day and I, my friends, am free from guilt. Skip took the car to a locally-owned body shop and received a bid for the repair. The owner of the shop goes to our church and gave us an awesome price for the job. If it wasn't for him, we were looking at a major expense.

The house might be another story. Skip managed to "piece" it back together, but it definitely needs to be replaced. I still have a little guilt about that.

But I am pretty sure that I will go right on sleeping and eating like nothing ever happened.

I am so thankful to my man. He has handled this entire debacle with grace and mercy. I think he and his buddies have had several good laughs at my expense though. Every time I talk to him he has a least one or two more stories about female drivers. I will admit that I deserve any laughter coming my way. My driving record is not what I would call "sparkling" but it has been a long time since I have done anything remotely close to this.

Anyway, thanks honey. You are a man of honor.

P.S. Could you bring home some ice cream?

You'll have him eating out of your hand.

Ladies! I found a FOOL-PROOF way to get your husbands to run all your errands for you.

Are you ready?

This is pure genius!

First. Make sure your man is taking a nap then lose your cell phone. Make him call you 40 times until you can locate it in the deep recesses of your car, otherwise known as the passenger seat hiding under some Krispy Kreme napkins.

Second (and most critical step). While backing HIS car out of the garage make sure you don't check your mirrors so you can slam into the HOUSE and pull HIS bumper half-way off allthewhile causing significant damage to your garage.

Third. Pray that he hears the horrific noise and runs out of the house to survey the damage.

If you follow steps 1-3 then I PROMISE you next time he will take care of all your errands. He might even offer to take your children with him.

You have my Money-Back guarantee!

THE REALLY BIG NEWS!!

What a sweet morning we had today. We loaded the car up with the kids and Skip's mom and headed to the BIG CITY to our ultrasound appointment. My mom met us there, so we had a big showing for sweet Lil' Poppy.

The kids were so excited as they led us down the long hallway to the procedure room. I have to admit that butterflies were flying around my tummy. I just wanted to see all the parts and pieces. Gender was important, but I wanted to see it all.

The six of us squeezed into the tiny room and I got ready on the table. The kids stood next to me while I laid down. It was so precious that I got to hold their little hands as we watched our new baby squirm away on the TV monitor before us.

Our tech really took a lot of time explaining all the body parts to the kids and made a special effort to get certain views, such as waving. She made Z and Lou feel such a part of the process. It was neat to hear them giggle when they saw fingers and toes.

She saved the gender for one of the last views. The view was so clear that it was no mistaking a little BOY!! Z-man grinned from ear to ear. Lou became a little silent until she was reminded that she was going to be a big help with the new baby. She will be the perfect Smother Mother. Then she became excited once again.

I praise God for our sweet family time He gave us this morning. What a precious memory that will hide in my heart forever. I am reminded of the words in Luke 2:19 after the birth of Jesus.

"But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart."

This day has become one of my all-time favorite days. Thank you, sweet Jesus.

Is it really that "super"?

My apologies if you have clicked here looking for the REALLY BIG NEWS report. We have yet to go. A case of heartburn and an ice cream craving have woken me from my tossing and turning. Make sure to check back later for the REALLY BIG NEWS!

In the meantime, let's ponder this question. What makes the SuperCenter so "super?" Is it the convenience of the one-stop shopping that lures us in? I, myself, have been known to purchase 3 shirts while running in just for some milk. Or is it the big city feel for us small town folks? It has EVERYTHING, mind you.

Except for these. No more, my friend, can you find these little two-bites of heaven located on their shelves. This fact alone has almost rendered the "Super"center dead to me. The only saving grace is that I can no longer stomach the two-bites of heaven. I am sure this is a temporary problem because who doesn't like little chocolate cakes with the perfect amount of frosting per bite? I have a few months before I figure out what to do when my tastes buds return. Do I switch stores, or will I be forced to MAKE MY OWN? Gasp.

Oh, but I digress. The other day while driving home from the Big City, I was having one of those familiar cravings for the NESTLE CRUNCH ICE CREAM BARS . Boy, I tell you this baby is one demanding little creature. What this baby wants, this baby is sure to get. It already has me wrapped around its translucent fingers. This baby NEEDS ice cream and it is very specific.

For example. I was feeling a certain bond with the baby when he/she suggested that I seek out vanilla ice cream with M&M's mixed in. Sounds simple enough. Found a drive-thru that served custard and ordered my M&M goodie. The baby was NOT happy with the result. This establishment, which shall remain nameless, used Mini-M&M's in their "ice cream treat!" This baby demands that only regular sized M&M's are to be used at all times. People, I am telling you that this little 5 ounce person has big opinions. I did manage to stuff the whole thing down, but I could tell someone was hiding in the corner of the womb pouting. Maybe even telling the placenta how mean I was. The nerve!

Anyway, back to the "Super"Center. Here I was searching high and low for the Nestle Crunch bars. I couldn't find them anywhere. What kind of place doesn't sell a staple such as Nestle Crunch?

I did find a substitute product but was completely turned off by the packaging. It was for the Blue Bell KRUNCH bars. Which would have been completely OK with me. I have lived in Blue Bell country. I know the appeal of the the Blue Bell name. But some marketing genius got hold of the product and decided it would be in their best interest to put a dirty man on the box. Yes, you heard me correctly. On the box is pictured a man, dirty from head to toe. He looks friendly enough as he bites into his KRUNCH bar, but still. He HAS DIRT ON HIM FROM HEAD TO TOE.

Now, I don't mean to be picky. But I don't want my food associated with anything dirt-related. Are you with me? I don't want to get my ice cream bar and feel like it may contain some of the mud that is sticking to this man's face. But what is a momma to do when the little person inside is DEMANDING the ice cream? I bought it, dirt and all. But I was NOT happy about it.

While I know this is not the "Super"center's fault. I am still thinking they could have chosen the Nestle alternative. The product that doesn't show a dirty man on the box. I am just saying.

Like many of you, I will forgive the "Super"center of it's shortcomings. I will continue to shop for the convenience of the one-stopness that it offers 24 hours a day. In time, I am sure that I will forget about the two-bite brownies debacle and the Blue Bell KRUNCH mishap. It will continue to be my source for cheap clothes and milk and oil changes. That is the American way, afterall.

As far as the KRUNCH bars are concerned. If you close your eyes while digging them out of the box, you won't even think about dirt. And the taste completely makes up for it. I assure you that no mud was used in the making of the product.

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Just cleaning house and cleaning up the blog today. I hope you are having a wonderful Saturday!

Stay tuned Monday for some REALLY BIG NEWS!

I will give you a hint.

GIRL or BOY...

And Jen, if you say TWINS one more time, I may have to hurt ya!