It's not you. It's me. Promise.

I would love nothing more than to bring you to our church. A beautiful log cabin in the middle of the woods. A building so unique that a church is the last thing you think of. It's a home. A home for my family. A home for my children to find a real Jesus.

It's perfect for us.  We have had birthday parties, slumber parties, baseball games all in this facility.  I love to show it off.

So, if you come there are some things you should know.

First, the people are amazing. Our seats are full of the most wonderful, servant-minded men and women you can find. Humble hearts united to make our small body unique. We don't play church. These are real and imperfect people.  And, boy can they COOK.  Today we had the most amazing pasta dinner and in two weeks, FRIED TACOS.  You will want to come for that!

Second, the worship is powerful.  The team is very talented.  Every Sunday you can bet you will experience God.  It's not about the performance, it's about the moment.  The music and the atmosphere usher in an intimate time where you can let go of your junk and BE with the King.  Very powerful and always emotional.  The perfect opener to solid teaching.

Thirdly, if its your birthday you can bet we will make you stand on a chair so we can sing to you!  Growing up in a major denominational church, this was one of the hardest things to get used to.  We can stand on chairs!!??  GET OUT!  But this silly tradition is a way of telling you that you are family.  You are important to us.

Our church does a lot of things right.  I could go on and on about all the things I think we are good at.  But, if I could change one tiny little thing it would be our propensity to hold hands.  We are a body of believers that like to close almost every Sunday with a little cross the aisle hand hold.

And that's probably fine if you aren't me.  Sweaty McSweaterson.

My hands are always sweaty.  *eww*  For a long time I wouldn't admit that, but hey.  I like admitting socially awkward things on my blog.  I'm deaf and my hands sweat.  Hold down the jealousy.

So if you sit by me, please know that I won't hold your hand.  I will hug you, link arms with you, "rock up", but I won't hold your hand.  It's not you.  It's me.  I hope that doesn't make you feel awkward.  I promise you that it's not the fact that you coughed 347 times in 10 minutes.  It's not a germ thing.  It's a temperature control thing.

Trust me.  I am saving you from five minutes of embarrassing weirdness.  Not to mention significant wetness.  Apparently I am not the only one who thinks this.  You must take the time to read this post and all the comments. Hilarious.   

I love my church and I want you to come. 

Sit by me and we will knuckle bump for Jesus.