"It's just a virus."
Translation:
"Thank you for choosing to drive up here this morning at the crack of dawn. You don't look THAT bad. I see here that your co-pay is $25 whether we find something wrong with your child, or not. Please pay at the end of the visit.
There is really nothing we can do with a viral infection except wait it out. She should be good in 2-3 days, leaving you completely sleepless and ugly until then.
Now here is the carrot that I am going to dangle so you don't scratch my eyes out...There is a slight (minute, actually) possibility that her strep culture will show positive in a couple of days (don't hold your breath) and if so, we will call a prescription in for you. In the meantime, you WILL use up the entire bottles of both Motrin and Tylenol with your alternate usage in order to (maintain sanity) keep her comfortable. You might even slip some for yourself. It's your call.
Just look on the bright side, you can stay in your jammies the rest of the day to snuggle. Isn't that what all parents really want? And gas is $0.35 cents cheaper here than where you live. (Not that you need even one drop of it because your tank is completely full of $3.45 gas.)
Don't forget the cashier on the way out. Thank you and have a nice day."
21 comments:
Oh, so wonderfully said! Melissa
A-MEN Sistah!
I love it. It is so very true.
Been there lots!! Isn't that frustrating? Spend $ for them to tell you what you already know!!! Never fails, or they get sick on a saturday night and you pay the hundred $ copay at the E.R. to hear that it's a virus!!! Even better.
Oh girl, that just stinks! I've tried to get drugs from my husband when I feel like junk, and he pulls the it's only a virus card too. Ugh! (at least I don't have a $25 co-pay and a drive to wait in an office). Hope all in your house are well soon.
I hate it when that happens! Then the next kid gets sick, so you go through it all over again. Then you get sick, and by the time everyone is done a new sickness appears.
Oh- and it does provide "blog-title security" for you. If your kids never got sick you'd have to change your name.
Hope lou feels better...we missed her this week at gymnastics.
$3.45?! When is the last time you filled up girl? It has been $2.99 over most of town for a week now.
Oh poor baby!!! Bugs have been going around. 2 kids on my street have had something and today A stayed home...more due to lack of interest in school, but came up with some diarrhea excuse. He will be back tomorrow!
YOU ARE HI-LARIOUS, Janelle! :) Your blog posts are so fun to read. Thanks for cracking me up tonight!
Girl, you are FUNNY! You had me laughing out loud! I'm sorry lou's still sick. And I'm REALLY sorry that it's JUST A VIRUS..AARRGGHHH!!! Oh how I hate that phrase!
deep breath in. deep breath out.
which is what i'm telling myself. not to mention how it must have been for YOU.
deep breath in. deep breath out.
you are funny janelle! so sorry loulabelle didn't get a magic pill. bless her little heart! and yours too!
First of all... Pishah on the whole "frumpy" thing. Whatever, girl!
I hope she feels better soon (and you get some sleep)!!
Hoping Lou is feeling better soon. But, I totally know what you mean. Sometimes, I feel like such a silly worry wart when I go and they tell me that. Oh well... better safe than sorry! :) Glad I'm not the only one who does that and thinks that!! :)
I have often wanted to say to the cashier on my way out...since the diagnosis was "viral" then my copay is null and void, thank you very much.
Viral is a curse word in my opinion. In fact, I just made it my new word. If you hear me say viral...you will know what I am really thinking.
I hate it when that happens! Even better is when you take them, they say it is viral and you have to come back in two days (and pay another $25 or $30 in my case) because after a couple more days of the "virus" they now have something worse which requires antibiotics! Argh!
Oh that is so frustrating! we got the virus card this week when i took mauryn in - UGH! now morgan has started with the sore throat.. which i am guessing will be a virus too :o(
your gas is cheap- so so jealous! i think if i saw gas under $3.00 i might do a little happy dance right at the pump.
Oh how your words capture the essence of the way it really is. You are so witty with your words...I LOVE IT!
I'll be praying Lou get's better soon...and that it doesn't spread! Good luck to you all!
I HAVE BEEN THERE. Oh, I HAVE BEEN THERE! It's the worst.
I know....they thought monkey and I had a "virus" because the strep test was negative, but we had puss pockets on our throats---a sure sign of strep. Our doc said they aren't always right. ;( I LOVE it! That is why we hardly go to the doctor and usually wait TOO long before we actually do go.
Hope you all are feeling better now! Yeah for Lysol, Clorox wipes, and Purell......
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