I vow to never eat another Whopper again.

OK.

So.

I never intended to take a bloggy break these last two weeks. But things happen. And for the past two weeks EVERYTHING in life has been happening at school.  These end of school days are a hazy mixture of field trips, field days, assemblies, parties, special lunches, volunteer recognition, you name it.  It all happens in May. I think they pack it so tight that there is nothing but SWEET RELIEF when it's over.

Until they are home for three days and the constant fighting makes you drive to back school just to see if anyone is there to take them from you.

Or, is that just me?

My kids have a total of 3 hours left of 4th grade and 1st grade. 

*bittersweet*

Anyway, that is NOT what this post is about.  This post is about HOW NOT TO BE A LOSER like me.

Yesterday after school my kids came home like they always do. STARVED. TO. DEATH.  And because I'm awesome, I turned on the oven to preheat some chicken nuggets.  It's a good thing I was standing there because about one minute later the oven window lit up like a Christmas tree.

Hmm?

That's odd.

I took a peek inside to find shooting sparks and flames.  The heating coil had caught on fire.  I turned off the oven but the flames didn't go away.  They got worse.

Commence panic and the wild throwing of baking soda.

The flames STILL did not stop.

So I doused it with water.  And when that didn't work I started throwing corn starch.  Cause I'm smart like that.

(add three screaming kids and you've got yourself a par-ty)

Finally.  Finally it stopped flaming and the fire died down.  When I looked closely at the damage I found that the heating coil had melted and broken apart.  I could be wrong, but I didn't think a HEATING COIL could melt apart??  I mean, isn't that it's job to get really really really hot and NOT melt? 

Anyway, it did.

Once it cooled down I started to clean the mess.  YUCK.  It was so bad.  The drawer under the oven got the brunt of all the nasty goo.  As I was cleaning that out I had a major revelation.

Did you know that drawer can come off so you can clean the floor underneath your oven?

Who knew!?!?

Well, probably all of you.  Or at least the ones who passed 7th grade Home Ec.  If I had passed, I totally would have known that.  But since the teacher was a bigfatmeaniehead who hated me and thought it would be fun to torment me.  I didn't learn it.

Oh well.

But what I did learn is that people are disgusting.  I swept up all the hair and dust and groddy stuff that has been living under my oven for the past 10 years.

GRRRRROOOOSSSS!

I vow to never eat another Whopper candy again.

I also vow to keep my oven clean.  Which should be the true moral of this story.

And I plan on learning that lesson real well as I sit in a restaurant tonight.

*glee*